And I can still see it all - All of you, all of me - I once believed love would be black and white, But it's golden

Jake was a student at MNSU, seemingly stuck in the cycle of being a professional student—now in his seventh year of college. He had no direction, no goals, and no aspirations. Then one random Saturday, he swiped right on a dating profile featuring a woman with the cutest corgi named Moonie. That’s how the first conversation started. Those chats soon blossomed into late-night FaceTime calls—Maggie studying, Jake gaming with the boys. Hours turned into more hours, until one day, Jake finally mustered the courage to meet her in person. He took her to the finest sandwich shop Burnsville had to offer: Jersey Mike’s. Maggie was too nervous to eat in front of him, so Jake devoured a full sandwich without a care in the world. That sandwich—and that corgi—sparked a relationship that has now lasted over five years.

I was stressed from school, work, and quarantine, so I went on Tinder just to “socialize with human beings.” I accidentally came across a guy whose profile picture featured a cute dog named Ranger—I thought it was his. We started talking, and he showed me another dog named Teddy. Turns out, neither of them were actually his. Ranger was his parents’ pup, and Teddy belonged to his roommate. Then he told me he had a cat named Oscar. Deep down, I don’t really like cats. I figured Oscar was just a regular cat—oh no, he was a black cat, and I’ve always been terrified of black cats. Despite all that, we had an awesome connection, and I decided to keep talking to him because he was genuinely nice and funny. And here we are, five years later, surrounded by the people who matter most. We’ve become a family.

Maggie is a terrified, bossy, annoyed, and grumpy hooman. On the other hand, Jake is an awesome food source—goofy, responsible, and playful. I like him as my spare hooman. I approve of him in this household. Ever since Jake came around, we’ve been going on walks more often, and that’s awesome because I love walks. Thanks to Jake, I now have the finest body.