Celebrating Eternity

Over the years and more recently, Facebook has been much maligned in the press. But fortunately for us, Facebook worked as described in connecting the unconnected. My experience finding "The One", my Soul mate, was nothing less than divine serendipity. After an occasional stroll through my FB timeline, I happened across a friend's page and saw a recently posted picture of an event. Thinking nothing of it, I scrolled through some of the photos, as I normally do. Interestingly, I was drawn to this one particular photo. For some reason, I felt as if I knew one of the people in the photo (which BTW turned out to be Michelle). After looking at it for a moment, I knew that I didn't know her and thought nothing of it. Fast-forward a month or so later, while on Facebook, I happened across another photo of the same women, one of which was Michelle. I said "Hmmm, here she is again..." Taking a mental note of it, I continued and thought nothing of it once again. Finally, several weeks later, I happen across ANOTHER photo of her, yet again. All of which, mind you, were on pages indirectly related or connected to me. At that moment, I asked, "Is the Universe trying to tell me something!!!" Enter Donette Love!

About six months before I met Dinavon, likely around the time he was discovering my pictures on Facebook, I said a prayer like none other before. While I was happily single and enjoying life, I wanted (and at the moment needed) to know if God had a life partner for me. So I just decided to lay it all on God. My prayer went something like this: "God, I'm asking you to tell me if you have someone with whom I can spend my life. And I need you to make the answer completely obvious with no room for doubt. If you do not have someone for me, I will wrap my head around that and be ok. But if that is the case, please allow me to do something great in my career for children and when I am old and can no longer take care of myself with no children or husband, take me out quickly and painlessly. Failing that, give me everything I want in a man, from the smallest, most ridiculous thing to the most important. I'm not going to give you a list. You know who I am. You know what I need, what I can handle, and what I can't handle. And God . . . . I think I deserve it. I'm putting this prayer on the mantle Lord and I'm NOT looking back. I will wait for your answer and am expecting your answer." I walked away from that prayer and, I never looked back. I never even so much as thought about a man or marriage again. It wasn't intentional. I just didn't. I went about the task of enjoying my life. Enter Donnette Love!

After seeing Michelle for the 3rd time, I decided to act on what I felt was the universe trying to tell me something. Enter Google Search!!! After getting her name from being tagged on one of the pictures, I did what any self-respecting internet-savvy researcher would do. I Googled her! To my surprise, the search resulted in a YouTube video post of Michelle. It featured professional career-oriented women having a round table discussion about dating. As fate would have it, the universe placed one person on the panel that I knew and had known for years. Donnette Russell-Love! After watching the Youtube post and hearing Michelle's voice, seeing her mannerisms, and feeling her words, I knew Donnette was my very next call. After reaching out to her, Donnette was so excited that I was interested in Michelle that I could hardly get my questions in. We finally got past that "Girly Girl" moment of "Awwwwwweeee, how cute..." and I asked my three signature questions. Is she married, engaged, or involved? Surprisingly, the answers were "NO but she's a serious person". So I said Donnette, please reach out to her and set me up. She said "Sure!!!" One week passed, nothing! Two weeks passed, more Nothing! The third week was upon us and, again, a whole lot of nothing!!! So my thought was, "She doesn't really KNOW this girl....". Because she wasn't returning her phone calls or texts, I started having serious doubts that Donnette would come through.

I had seen a bunch of missed calls from Donnette but had been busy with work. I finally called her back and she could barely contain her excitement. She said "Girllllll, I've been trying to get a hold of you. Someone I know from church is interested in you. He thinks you are his future wife! I told him you don't play games so he better be serious about this. So can I give him your number!?". As blind dates were mostly unsuccessful for me, I was skeptical and somewhat uninterested. I said "Donnette, don't tell him you spoke to me. Let me just come to church with you and meet him. That way if I don't like him, I don't have to worry about getting rid of him". She replied " Okay, when can you come to church?". I said "well not this weekend . . . and probably not the weekend after. I should be able to in the next three or four weeks or so." I soon got a reply saying "Michelle, he is blowing up my phone like Edy Murphy in Boomerang. He is not trying to wait three or four weeks. I laughed. "Ok Donnette, give him my number". Sigh. God must have been shaking his head . . . . . . .

Dinavon: All that can be said is "Time flies when kindred spirits and souls connect." An initial first call by phone turned into the beginning of the rest of our lives. Michelle: We had a two hour conversation in the late afternoon that was very nice. We had things in common. He had a nice, calming voice. It was a great first conversation but I didn't think much of it past that. I went about the rest my evening. I spoke with my "daughter" Lynn for a couple hours. I did things around the house. I wasn't thinking about our earlier conversation at all. Around 1 am I was finally ready for bed. I sat on the edge of my bed and had a very odd experience. I simply exhaled but I distinctly heard it, I distinctly felt it and I saw the word in bold capital black letters in my minds eye . . . . "EXHALE". I then felt a very strong, almost tangible sense of peace descend over me. I said out loud, "I feel peaceful". "Is that to do with that guy?" "God are you here?" And then I thought "Ok Michelle, you are being an idiot. Go to bed." I never really thought about this experience until my future with Dinavon became more obvious. It was clear that subconsciously, after that first conversation, I knew. Why would my brain connect that moment of peace with "that guy" when I wasn't even thinking about him. This was just the beginning of God answering my prayer in making it "very obvious" to me whether he had someone for me or not.

Our first date was at Cinebistro (dinner and a movie). The movie was Denzel Washington's new release Roman J. Israel ESQ. It was also the night the University of Miami football program played for the ACC Conference Championship against the Clemson Tigers. I was fortunate to have been able to book tickets at the newly opened theater location in Doral, Fl. I was ready, prepared, and came bearing first date gifts. A bottle of wine, chocolates, a small teddy bear, and a poem entitled "You". Hey, when you know, you know!

I was late and flustered because although I may never see this man past this date, I don't like leaving bad impressions. I had never been to this new cinema and asked him to stand somewhere I could see him so I didn't get lost. I stepped off the elevator and there he was, beaming at me. Although I physically walked over to him, in my head I was stopped in my tracks at the elevator. "He's so tall! He's so big!. He's handsome! He's got kind eyes. And a beautiful smile. He has a gift in his hand, he's thoughtful!" While my mind was still at the elevator trapped in my thoughts, Dinavon was speaking to me. I heard none of it until he said "so we should go in since it's getting late". We took about three steps and I stopped and said "So I'm Michelle" and I hugged him. He looked at me as if to say "didn't we just do this". For me the conversation was now starting. Looking confused he hugged me back, smiled and we went inside. Dinavon was calm throughout the night and spoke to me as if he had known me his entire life. It was as if he said to himself "Ok, I found my wife, let's watch this movie now". But I felt very uneasy. I kept looking over at him throughout the movie. Who is this guy to me? What is going on? God, did you just plunk my husband down next to me? I had the gut feeling that something significant was happening. My uneasiness went to the next level when I got home and read his poem. It was clear he knew I was his wife. He had also given up watching the ACC championship UM game to go out on the night I had selected! Had I known the significance of that . . . . !!!

Proverbs 18: 22 says Whosoever findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Around the age of six, my mother sat me down and told me that I was adopted. Not understanding what that meant, she explained it to me. It never truly resonated with me until I grew older. As I did, my curiosity about where I came from began to have more meaning. Not because I didn't love my parents, but one begins to wonder, "What is my story?" Where did I come from?". Unfortunately due to the death of my adopted mother at age 9, there were a lot of unanswered questions left for me to figure out. Fast forward 40 plus years later, I finally did. It all started with a conversation. Upon first meeting Michelle, we shared many interesting conversations and one happened to be about my parents. I mentioned to her that I had been adopted at birth and didn't know my biological parents, but would love to find them one day, à la The Antwone Fisher Story. Not thinking anything more of that conversation, approximately six months had passed and it was my birthday, May 23, 2018. This day would forever change my life as I received a gift from Michelle that, while inexpensive, represented more than any monetary figure one could attach. It was an Ancestry DNA Test Kit. After receiving and opening the gift, I was in a state of shock. Not because of the gift itself, but because of what it represented. What I held in my hands could and would change my life forever. It could potentially open the door to finding answers, that I wanted to know, but did I truly want to go down that road at this stage of my life. Needless to say, that momentary instance of hesitation in reflection, was short-lived. Through Michelle's gift, we found my biological family. As fate would have it, my biological mother was living in Miami at the time. And, in some instances, not knowing, we lived only minutes away from each other. It was truly the gift that changed my life!

Dinavon first mentioned he was adopted and had always wanted to find his birth parents shortly after our first date in December of 2017. My first thought was to get him the Ancestry DNA kit for Christmas. Realizing it was probably too deep a gift for having known him only a short while, I decided that I would give it to him for his birthday the following year if we were still dating. His birthday (which happens to be the same day as my older brothers) arrives and I am bursting at the seams with anticipation of giving him this gift. He opens it and well, let's just say watching the color drain out of his face as it went from smiling anticipation to a complete look of terror was not quite the reaction I was hoping for. He was speechless. As I sat wide-eyed, blinking at him for what seemed to be a silent eternity, I said to myself, "Dear Lord what have I done?". He eventually said, "This is the best gift I have ever received." His facial expression said something quite different. I gave him a few weeks to let the thought settle in before asking him to complete the test. I wanted to mail it on Father's Day for the symbolism. I finally made my way to the post office, test in hand, and after praying over it to lead us directly to a first-degree relative versus a 4th-degree cousin, I dropped it in the box and left it in God's hands. About a month later, I was in Nevis visiting my great aunts, and Dinavon and I were on the phone. About 20 minutes into the conversation he said, "So I got my results." Uhmm . . . you could have led with that. I said, " Ok, what did it say?" He proceeded to tell me the various African countries of his lineage. As I'm thinking "We are all from Africa, can we get to the important part." he said, "I have a match. With 99.9% confidence, it is a parent-child interaction. There is a picture of a woman. I look just like her. It is my mother." For the next five minutes, all I could say was, "Oh my God, we found your mother!?"

Houston we have Lift Off!!! If you know, You Know! It didn't take a lot to realize that God had done and was continuing to do something very special in our lives. For me it was simple, "She's the One"! After searching for what seemed like forever, I had finally found "The One". Once you know, the rest is a mere formality. It was clear to me that the stars had aligned and the universe had birthed into fruition what was destiny. Knowing this, I decided to keep it simple. It was nearing the New Year and was the perfect way to bring in the New Year by making it official and asking Michelle for her hand in marriage.

"From the very first moment I saw your face, heard your voice and felt your words, I knew . . . . You have meant more to my life then I could have ever imagined and I thank God for allowing the materialization and manifestation of you . . . . You've made me want to be a better man and I'm ready to trade me for we and I for us. Let's share our forever together as one Mr. and Mrs. forever in love." And with these words, I said "Yes"!