Matron of Honor
Jennifer and I have been friends since before our prefrontal cortex's developed. She is witty and funny and crazy (she's a Scorpio). I've cried in front of her more than I've cried in front of Michael. She's a brilliant nurse and often steals medical supplies for me. Her birthday is Nov 8th so make sure to tell her happy birthday at the wedding (this will make her supremely uncomfortable). I trust her completely and can't wait for both our husbands to die so we can finally live together. We've hugged two times in 13 years.
Best Man
That's my bro.