Groom
Mike was born to a pack of wolves in Japan. He likes cheese wheels and bumper cars. One time he jumped into a lake full of weevils. Or maybe not. His middle name is Carnuestifeld.
Bride
Ali was born to a pack of hyenas in 1979, exactly 1000 years after a volcano destroyed Pompeii. In her spare time she opens for Jerry Seinfeld. She once bought a life-size model of a turnip. Her middle name is Maleficent.
Mother of the Groom
Carol, also known as "Salami Head", likes when her son pretends to be a robot. She spends several hours a day smelling socks and rating their freshness.
Mother of the Bride
Kathy, also known as “Queen Spaghetti Squash", likes when her daughter beats her in poker. She spends several hours a day working as a docent at the Unko Museum and beat boxing.
Father of the Groom
Terry has an official doctorate degree in seagulls after passing a difficult test. He enjoys walks on the beach that are less than 100 feet and his favorite food is dragons.
Father of the Bride
Randy passed away June 9, 2020. He will be there in spirit.