Bridesmaid
A sea-faring adventuress with an eye for design and a laugh that gets you every. single. time. I couldn't tell you how many mountains I've climbed or how many trails I've skied with this girl, I only know that it hasn't been enough. Sorry gentlemen, she is very much taken. I know, I was disappointed when I found out too...
Best Man
Best Man and also the best, man. An architect by training, but human bouncy ball/jungle cat in practice. Prefers to greet you suddenly and loudly as you walk around the corner (especially if you're cradling a hot beverage). He will still laugh at your jokes, regardless of actual humor level. Try to keep up (but please wear a helmet).
Bridesmaid
The most beautiful person you will ever meet, both inside and out. Is there a doctor in the house? Why yes, yes there is. A fighter. A lover. A mother. A die-hard fan of Ben Folds Five. She is the ultimate package.
Groomsman
This man knows population medicine, so he'll know about the zombie apocalypse long before you do (do you SEE how many academic letters he has?). He also knows a thing or two about dropping sick beats and gin martinis with an elderflower twist, which are not unrelated. Currently raising the smiliest kid in the dang universe.
Bridesmaid
A D.C. power player with a heart of gold, THIS girl has got your back! Don't try to talk politics, I promise you do not have a high enough security clearance. Passionate and fierce, if you are lucky enough to find this girl on the dance floor, she can show you a thing or two on how to bust a move!
Groomsman
Described by his father as "mysterious as the wind," and described by everyone else as....the opposite of that, really. This English football supporter has forgotten more about the Premiere League than you will ever know about anything in your entire life. Enjoys using prodigious height to finish corner kicks and keep the groom humble. Manages to engineer Top Secret Projects Essential To Our National Defense whilst wearing slippers, like a civilized person, thank you very much.
Bridesmaid
Amateur chef. Professional Anthropologist. Artist. Nerd. Beer expert. Cheese expert. Marvel Cinematic Universe Expert. Adept at anything requiring fine motor skills and a healthy dose of common sense. This girl is not here for your foolishness, but she is always there when you need a friend. If you like the draft beer selection at our wedding, you have this lady to thank!
Groomsman
The youngest and prettiest (by far) of the groomsmen, this tall drink of water is currently navigating the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (being a Chem.E. student in western NY). He may, in fact, need to duck out of the ceremony to go study for finals because #academics. Sweater-vest enthusiast. Resident millennial and the only one who understands SnapFace, the Twitter machines or FaceBlock. All social media-related queries should be directed to him.
Bridesmaid
The myth. The Legend. The Loverro. A 5' 2" Goliath of energy, love, and fun, this girl is just like sunshine...bright, cheery, and somehow EVERYWHERE at once! Oh and did I mention she is getting her doctorate??? The scientific world has no idea what's coming...
Groomsman
Known colloquially as "Hot Pat." The best groomed of the groomsmen (and anyone else at this wedding), but still finds time to crush whole Papa Johns and and supervise clinical drug trials. Come for the biceps, stay for the biochemistry.