Groom
"There are two things in this world that make my life worth living, one is Pokemon; and the other is Steven..."
Groom
"Try, Lose, BLISS!"
Mother of the Groom
"You should have gotten married the day you got your marriage license!"
Sister of the Groom
Best Man
"To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that's everything."
Maid of Honor
"Where there is great love, there is also miracles."
Maid of Honor
"I'll fight chu!"
Best Man
"That's what she said..."
Groomsman
"Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends."
Groomsman
"I said a dollar you bitch!"
Groomswoman
"Cardboard belts are a WAIST of paper."
Groomsman
"To quote my man Frank Ocean; We gotta live like our last night feels like a past life."
Groomswoman
"Just keep swimming."
Groomsman
"You have to live now because tomorrow is never promised and also, never trust a fart you have to push out!"
Officiant
"I've been told that I was born to barter. People say to me; Rodney you can sell ice to an Eskimo, or glasses to a blind man! I say to that; YEAH BUDDY!"