Maureen & Anthony
Meet the Team!
Chelsea Derzinski
Maid of Honor
Calling all single men: She's a strong independent woman that don't need no man.... but would like one :) An engineer climbing the corporate ladder living in Arlington, VA with her handsome well-behaved puppy Ollie. Lover of smiling, cheap coffee, buffalo chicken pizza, and crying during movies that aren't even meant to be sad. Don't miss your opportunity on this one, she's the real deal! She's beautiful without make-up AND she comes with zero baggage!!! Serious inquiries only - please email resume and cover letters to maureenhepner@gmail.com
Brock Lanoza
Best Man
He has small arms but a big heart. Everyone who reads this please send 1 dozen eggs and whey protein to his house.
Dr. Greta Gibeau
Bridesmaid
We all know the real reason Dr. Greta chose Audiology is to flirt with men born before 1940. This girl cracks herself up more than anyone I know, but she'll have you laughing so hard you'll forget that you originally started laughing at her laughing at herself. Greta is also in the runnings to cry more than Chelsea on the big day.
George Rudderow
Groomsman
He was Anthony's center when Anthony was the quarterback for the 120 LB Medford Indians and George's poor snap was responsible for Anthony's broken arm. Still waiting on my apology.
Dr. Megan Dunleavy
Bridesmaid
Most likely to injure herself on the dance floor. But don't worry because she's a doctor! Fun fact: In high school, no one had seen Maureen cry. One of her nicknames was "Emotionless-Mo". After only a month at Radford University, Maureen skyped Megan balling her eyes out. In a panic, Megan cancelled all her plans that weekend and drove over 6 hours from her college to rescue her homesick friend. ❤️
Mike Smith
Groomsman
Michael Smith - Former Kentucky Derby Champion - Former NHL Goalie for Arizona Coyotes, Dallas Stars, Tampa Bay Lightning, and Calgary Flames - Former ESPN SportCenter Anchor - Former Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons - Current lead computer programmer for ELed Lights
Dr. Lorraine Miller
Bridesmaid
The only Physical Therapist that we know that actually looks good in khaki's. After returning from her tour in Afghanistan, Maureen convinced Lorraine at their local Starbucks to transfer to Towson with her that upcoming fall semester. Maureen even made her sign the back of a Starbucks receipt as a promise because it all seemed too good to be true. Lorraine kept her promise, and a few months later they were moving into their apartment at their new college. Greta must have been jealous of what Maureen and Lorraine had because 1 semester later she also transferred into Towson. Maureen misses our Rummy nights, Wine Wednesdays, and lots and lots of Quinoa. #NoNewFriends
Salvatore Saluga
Groomsman
- 5% Greek - World class concrete pourer, bricklayer, and paralegal - Hasn't cut his hair since 2004 - Steals fantasy football league money from his friends
Anna Arnot
Bridesmaid
My bada$$ architect friend that I text before making any major wedding decisions. She essentially planned my entire wedding so if you don't like something...blame Anna. Maureen has seen Anna's potential in Architecture since their freshman year of high school when Maureen would challenge Anna to complete her art projects for her.
Benjamin Myles Simms
Groomsman
- 2000 point scorer at Shawnee High School - Holds Elizabethtown College Men's Basketball record for assists in a game (22) - Formerly nicknamed The Mule - Record 10 consecutive losses in one fantasy football season
Coach Jessie Hutchens
Bridesmaid
Jessie (such a trouble-maker🙄) got herself, Maureen, and another teammate (Hannah) kicked off the softball team sophomore year. We had to run everyday whenever the team was practicing or lifting (so basically whenever we weren’t in class) to “earn” our spots back. Our running playlist consisted of “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba and “Hold on” by Wilson Phillips. We would belt out the lyrics “You got yourself into your own mess”. That was the longest week and a half of our lives but I wouldn’t want to suffer through it with anyone else.
Logan Rubalcava
Groomsman
The most fit groomsmen of them all. Lives life on The Oil Patch with the Golden Egg. Texas.
Sarah Kennedy RN, BSN
Bridesmaid
I walked into my first nursing school class and this really weird girl walked right up to me and said, "Hi I'm Sarah, do you want to sit with me?" Thank goodness for her very direct approach to making friends because we've been besties ever since.
Zack Battis
Groomsman
The Greek Freak, lamb cake extraordinaire, real estate mogul. Thomas Jefferson High School alumni - once held TJ McConnel of the Philadelphia 76ers to 4 points and 0 assists in a high school game.
Justine Hepner RN, BSN
Bridesmaid
I always thought I wanted a sister..... until I realized I had to share my daddy with her 😏 I'm learning how to share though because I just love her so much 🤗
Kevin Hepner
Groomsman
Bride's older brother. Slower, bench presses less and squats less than Anthony. Pretty embarassing. Also drafted three kickers in fantasy football which is more embarassing.
Greyson Hepner
Ring Bearer
I tried to condition him using Pavlov's theory: A behavior is learnt by a repetitive association between the response and the stimulus. Well, it seriously backfired because now he won't give Auntie Mo a kiss without a Swedish fish in return. Turns out I'm making all the mistakes on my brother's kids, so I don't mess up my own. Likelihood of making it down the aisle without sprinting, losing the rings, or getting distracted and running off towards the goat pen: 38%
Margot Herron
Flower Girl
Lover of smiling from ear-to-ear, gardening, ballet, and her big brother Jack. She also loves to play in the dirt, but loathes the bathtub. Maureen admires that Margot was able to train her parents to give her a 20-minute back rub every night before bed. Maybe someday Maureen can train Anthony to do this... Likelihood of making it down the aisle without crying or throwing a temper tantrum: 76% (Having her older cousin Sydney by her side brings Margot's score up 15%)
Sydney Heister
Flower Girl
Sydney was always destined to be my flower girl, but for a while there I thought by the time Anthony proposed she would be away at college. Good work by Anthony because Sydney is thrilled and still as cute as ever! She loves gymnastics, so don't be alarmed if she throws in a cartwheel while making her way down the aisle. Likelihood of making it down the aisle without crying or throwing a temper tantrum: 100%