We're Getting Married
Wedding Party
Waldemar Loc
Father of the Bride
Mr. Loc will decidedly not be crying but his wife will make up for the deficit of father tears. Mr. Loc holds several weightlifting and arm wrestling titles in the murky underground fight club world of Eastern Europe. Chuck Norris has him on speed dial...
Halina Loc
Mother of the Bride
Mrs. Loc is the crier of the bunch. She will be crying for the entire wedding plus the reception. If you see her, give her a shoulder to cry on and a tissue.
Michael Davis
Father of the Groom
Mr. Davis is the baby-boomer version of Josh with a pretty sick mustache. Josh is basically Mike's millennial clone with a slightly curvier figure.
Cynthia Davis
Mother of the Groom
Mamma D. This tiny little lady birthed Josh and his twin and one of them turned into the 230 pound ogre you'll see on the altar with a Polish princess.
Agnieszka Swiatek
Maid of Honor
Agnieszka (Agnes) is Marta's big sister and best friend. Agnes was well on her way to figure skating stardom until a Tonya Harding-like assault ended her promising career.
Patrick Zinkan
Best Man
Pat has a heart the size of ten men. Pat has been running through brick walls for Josh since 1st grade. And I quote: "What time is lunch again?" -1st grade Pat Z, a quote from a great man.
Amie Hillyard
Bridesmaid
Amie is Josh's big sissy and one of the sweetest people you will meet. Best big sister in the game!
Daniel Leventhal
Groomsman
Daniel is Josh's and Marta's College Best Friend and son. He's only in the wedding because he paid the bride and groom to be apart of their day. Please be nice and don't rub it in his nose when you see him.
Gretchen Berry
Bridesmaid
Gretchen is Josh's twin sister and the most sparkly bridesmaid in the game.
Joel McDonald
Groomsman
Joel is one of Josh's closest friends from home and a pretty decent poker player, he's also a decent basketball player despite still not being as talented as the groom.
Meghan Johnson
Bridesmaid
Meghan is Marta's childhood best friend and one of the smartest people she knows. She once read an entire dictionary....BEFORE SHE COULD READ!
Mariusz Loc
Groomsman
Mariusz is Marta's little brother and pretty much the nicest guy ever. They already get along like brothers who've known each other for a lifetime. Mariusz is so studly he's often referred to as the Polish Tyson Beckford.
Alexandria Pantaleoni
Bridesmaid
Alexandria (Allie or Baby Love) is another shared best friend of the bride & groom. She was BFF's with Josh until Marta swooped in for the best friend steal. Allie was going to officiate but couldn't clear the rigorous requirements of priesthood.
Kenneth Waynscott
Groomsman
The man. The myth. The legend! Kenneth has been close with Josh for the last 15 years. He is currently a world traveler, living in New Zealand. Kenneth is also a decent basketball player, not as good as Josh, though. ...ask around, others will confirm.
Bart Young
Groomsman
Bart is one of Josh's closest hometown friends. They first met in junior high as ferocious competitors in 3-on-3 basketball events. They eventually decided to team up as two sick basketball players, and the rest is history. I guess you could say Bart is always there to lend Josh a helping hand... and I mean always....
Lilly Swiatek
Flower Girl
Lilly is Marta's Niece and Agnieszka's daughter. She will someday be married off to Carter Berry in an effort to strengthen the family union.
Carter Berry
Ring Bearer
Carter is Josh's Godson and Gretchen's son. Best friend of groom.