It was late one Friday night and I was hanging out with my sister and another friend. We were scrolling on Facebook and there was an ad for an Adventist dating site called “Triangle of Love” that popped up. At first I just laughed at it, but then something like curiosity got into us. “SET UP A PROFILE!” they said. We really were just wondering what kind of people went on these sites and what the deal was. At the time, I was actively praying for my future husband but I was definitely not “actively searching.” Anyways, I proceeded to set up a profile (very quickly with very minimal details about myself) but soon realized that the guys on there were not exactly what I had in mind for myself, most being much older and living way too far away for me to consider. However, there was a little tab at the top that said, “Advanced Search.” It was here that you could specify in great detail what your ideal partner was. So there I went pressing search and up popped the profile of a certain someone…

One day in college while my dad was visiting me, he shocked me with this unwelcome suggestion: “Sterling, have you ever considered online dating?” I was offended. Of course I had heard about it but I was totally against the idea. There was no way I was going there, mostly because I judged that any relationship initiated online was incapable of glorifying God… for some unjustifiable reason. Well, two years later I was on my second year of student missions, volunteering as a maintenance worker at an academy. Funny how God rebukes us in life by showing us He can work in ways we believed were impossible in our human judgement. One of my colleagues and I would pray together every week and support each other. After a little bit we were talking about relationships (guys do this a lot by the way) and I learned that he and his wife met online. And guess what? They are happy, have a few children, and are working for the Lord, doing their best and seeking to honor God in their family and work. So I learned that God can work through various means, sanctified and committed to Him in trust and peaceful rest. A few weeks later I was curious, so I did some research, found the most reliable Adventist dating site I could find, and decided to check it out! You could make a free account initially with limited functionality, so I did. I decided to write an essay, try to be as honest as I reasonably could about myself and what I was hoping for in a wife. After making an account I quickly realized this was not for me unless God worked a miracle. Most of the women on the site were not in the age range I was interested in and most were not even in America. So I basically left my account there and went back to work, praying that my life would be in God’s hands. It was a few months before I seriously considered my online presence again.

Now, as you just read, Sterling had written quite a nice long essay about himself. After I clicked on his profile, I began to read. We had just gotten through the exposition when the others with me exclaimed, “KAYLA!! This guy Is actually YOU!” Not gonna lie, I was a little in shock about how much we had in common. The values, beliefs, interests, and goals that were expressed seemed to perfectly align with mine. But what was I supposed to do now? Well my friends thought of the grand idea to message him. After much persuasion I reluctantly and nervously wrote out a message to send to him on the site. I pressed the send button and up popped a page that said, “Sign up for $29.99 a month and you can send your message...” this was not going to happen. I was not going to spend money to message a stranger with no guarantee that he would message me back. So for a moment I resigned my mission and proceeded to delete my hastily made profile (I had been in there a total of 9 minutes). But of course my sister had another fabulous plan, “FIND HIM ON FACEBOOK!” It didn’t take much convincing and soon I had found Sterling Cornwell’s Facebook page. To my dismay, we had quite a few mutual friends who were not just acquaintances, but close friends from a lot of different time periods in my life. That made everything way more intense. This was not just a random guy on the internet, this was a real living human who knew my people! At this point, I had come so far and really I had nothing to lose so I decided to at least say hi. I scratched the previously written message and wrote something short and hopefully unassuming. Below are the exact words..

“Hey this is awkward…. But I randomly decided to sign up on that triangle of love dating site. Purely out of curiosity to know what kind of people go on those things. ANYWAYS. I read your long expository essay and I was surprised on how much we had in common…I WAS going to message you but then they told me I had to pay sooo no. Well… maybe just to beat the system I decided to find you on fb so here we are. Hope you don’t think I’m a creep but you seemed like a pretty cool guy. I was going to send you the message I prepared but it seems way more intense on fb so I shall refrain. Hope you have a wonderful Sabbath!” I pressed send and prayed that God would do what He willed. Then a very amused at herself yet hopeful Kayla went to sleep. Meanwhile, 364 miles away an un-expecting man got a Facebook notification...

On a Friday night I settled into my hammock in the boiler room to take a break. Our campus boiler had broken and it was my job to stay up at night and keep it hot so our buildings were warm and everyone had hot water. Looking at my phone, I saw I had a Facebook message request on my phone. Expecting to see an old friend trying to reconnect, I excitedly opened it up! Well, um, this was not what I was expecting. There’s a picture of a beautiful young lady I’ve never seen before in my life, and her message, which you just read in Kayla’s story. As soon as I read the first few sentences, I closed my phone without finishing, checked that I was awake, and started praying, and exclaimed to the concrete boiler walls, “What in the world… Oh man LORD KEEP MY HEART.” I definitely didn’t expect this because since I made only a free account on Triangle of Love, there was no way I could send or receive messages on the site. I definitely did not foresee a girl going through the trouble of finding me on Facebook to contact me. Since it was Sabbath I quickly resolved to spend the night in prayer, Bible study, and my necessary work to keep the campus warm, not looking at Facebook again until morning. So that’s what I did, Hallelujah! Early the next morning I sent this girl, Kayla, a quick message to politely let her know I would message her back later. That day I talked to my dad on the phone and we prayed together and after another prayer on my own, I went to bed (during the daytime) and slept. Waking up that evening I decided to go ahead and message this girl back and see what’s going on. My dad had wisely encouraged me to leave Kayla in God’s hands and just establish that we are no more than friends and that if we are going to get to know each other, we should do it on that premise. Let’s see where God will lead us! Little did I know how clearly and supernaturally He would lead Kayla and me to become best friends and ministry partners for God’s glory.

After weeks of writing essays to each other on messenger, Sterling asked for my number and we began talking, then Skyping and finally he arranged to come up to meet me in person for the very first time. I remember that I could hardly believe our relationship had actually come to this. It was such a blast getting to know him. We hung out that day, talked about lots of meaningful things and parted ways, both with the intention of continuing our relationship to see where God would lead. The next few months were a whirlwind, I broke my pelvis after falling off a horse, and Sterling was there to take care of me. My parents came up from Canada to visit and after officially meeting them in person, Sterling asked me to officially be his girlfriend. We went to a family reunion in West Virginia and then Sterling drove off to Idaho to spend the summer as a maintenance worker. That was one of the longest summers of my life. But God was our strength as we waited to be reunited again.

Proposing to Kayla was a special moment for both of us and I am so grateful for the memories we will continue to share in establishing our commitment to each other. Heidi helped me a lot getting the whole setup for the proposal together. It happened on a Sabbath at a beautiful little beach south of San Francisco. The week before we decided to go all together and it made for the perfect opportunity to ask Kayla to be my wife. On Friday, in between doctor appointments, cleaning the house, working, and keeping it all a secret I got together some supplies: fresh roses, candles, glasses, and other decorative items. Then, with Heidi’s help to keep it hidden in the car we drove to the beach and had a wonderful Sabbath afternoon and evening together in nature. Then at sunset, again with Heidi’s indispensable assistance, we set up a blanket with candles all around in glasses, a rose-lined walkway up to the spot, and a few meaningful decorations on the rocks beside us. It was a rush getting it all together, an exercise in trust and faith, and an unforgettable memory to mark the beginning of our marriage commitment to each other. Even though it obviously didn’t work just like a dream, it was great and there’s no thrill that is lost if love is based on principle and commitment in Jesus, not flighty feelings and infatuation.

We were walking on the beach and I had an inevitable feeling that now was the time. It was so surreal and I didn’t know what to expect. We rounded the bend of a little cove and there was a pathway of red roses leading up to a white blanket with candles all around and more roses. So. Many. Roses. It was beautiful, the moment hit me and the tears started to flow. How blessed was I? How was this even happening? Sterling sat me down and we talked for a while looking at the sunset, the waves, and of course, each other. There he told me the story of our relationship and detailed the things that he found out and loved about me throughout the journey. He talked about how God had led and how excited he was that the Lord has called us to do ministry together. Finally I stood up, he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I cried, we laughed; it was perfect. And now, we can hangout forever.