FAQs
Question
Hey! Weren't we supposed to do this last year? What happened?
Answer
Fair question. What happened was this: We tried to DIY a wedding in a year, with two totally different work schedules. This would have been doable, were it not for the fact that on December 23, 2022, the pipes in our house burst. Due to chronic contractor overscheduling, this left us without water for the entirety of winter (we didn't get it back until late March). Imagine trying to plan what is supposed to be the "start of the rest of your lives" while surviving off of 10 milk jugs of water at a time for three months. Needless to say, by the end of the season, we were both at our wits end. Beyond the stress of normal wedding planning, we were having to juggle what the water should be prioritized FOR (should that last bit go to flushing the toilet? Should it go to our dog? To cooking?). We sent out the cancellation notices because we realized that we were getting ugly with each other. We were on edge a fair amount of the time, and frankly, it wasn't RESPONSIBLE for us to move forward with having people fly or drive from all over the country to an event that at that point, we weren't even sure we wanted. We took our time. We unplugged from wedding planning completely for nine months. We enjoyed having a working SHOWER in our home again. We went to couple's therapy. What did we conclude? We love each other, immensely. We work effectively as a team (not sure how many other couples would survive an entire season with no water in their home), but we needed to do a little more repair in how we handled adversity. Save the dates didn't get released because we wanted to just enjoy being a couple again for a while. We hope this makes sense, and we hope people understand that none of this was done flippantly or impulsively. If anything, we're all the more excited to celebrate with you -- because this is a celebration of the REALITY of coupleship: facing challenges, facing adversity, doing what is responsible, finding the joys, and overcoming. Together.
Question
So, why didn't "save the dates" go out if you knew you were getting married?
Answer
Honestly? We needed time to fully unplug and be a couple for a while, separate from wedding planning. We'd just dealt with something really embarrassing, and really awkward. We needed some time. We're truly sorry about the inconvenience this may have caused. To anyone who was negatively impacted, be it through an irretrievable loss of a hotel or flight, please do not feel obligated to make those reservations again if you cannot do so. We truly understand, and we know you are with us in spirit.
Question
Why are you devoting an entire FAQ section to this issue?
Answer
Because we hadn't wanted to make guarantees that would cause people to perhaps lose more money on flights, we had been hesitant to release the new date until we felt 100% comfortable with the fact that this was happening. This, understandably, led to a lot of conclusions getting drawn about whether or not we were even together anymore, let alone getting married. We figured this was the best way to clear this up so that we don't have to talk about it on our wedding day. We want that day to be a celebration of what we've learned, and how we've grown -- we don't want the focus to be drawn away by speculation about what happened last year.