We're getting hitched y'all!

It was summertime in a small-town church somewhere in Alabama. A group of rag-tag Jesus lovin' kids were gathered to plan this thing called Happening. I barely knew anyone, so I sought out an empty seat to start drawing on gift bags. If you ask me, the day was awkward and uncomfortable being around all these strangers. But if you ask Chase, well... "Lydia was wearing these shoes that she said she drew on (which was weird). She sat down without really saying a word and started creating a freakin' masterpiece on these bags. I was intrigued. She still hadn't said a word, so my go-to was to make her laugh. She. Didn't. Budge. Forty jokes later and she finally figures out I'm the funniest person in the room and cracks a smile. It was all downhill from there." This part is questionable. Chase is the king of Dad jokes. I had to throw him a bone. "Later that night – a group of us were in a circle, maybe 25-30 people? Everyone took a turn going in the middle of the circle and introducing themselves. It was eventually my turn. So I went up and hit 'em with 'Hello. My name is Chase Pinkerton and that girl (points to weird shoes Lydia) over there is going to be my next wife." (me to me.... next?!) "This is when Lydia stood up and said 'NEXT wife? Im gonna be your ONLY wife!' and sat back down. The room erupted and that was the only time Lydia was ever funny." He's right. It was all downhill from there.