Bride
Did you know you can drive to Alaska?
Groom
Mama ain’t raise no bitch
Matron of Honor
She sees dead people.
Best Man
Acquaintance.
Bridesmaid
Shawan. Kinda like she wants me.
Groomsman
Mate.
Bridesmaid
Asian Persuasion.
Groomsman
THREE times the fun.
Bridesman
Let’s not forget that time she almost got Anthony arrested.
Groomsman
Fellow survivor of LUB Bowling.
Bridesmaid
Leslie Knope incarnate.
Groomsman
I'm not saying that Austin is Batman, but what I am saying is that they've never been seen in the same place at the same time.
Bridesman
Frodo.
Groomsman
Fellow Harambe conspiracy theorist.
Officiant
Doesn't actually know how to speak French.