Matron of Honor
We have matching tattoos.
Bridesmaid
We've known each other for 30 years. Literally.
Bridesmaid
I sat next to the boy she had a crush on in Spanish class. They never dated so she settled for our friendship instead.
Bridesmaid
She gets stuff done.
Bridesmaid
Some kind of wonderful.
Bridesman
Jolinas, tío.
Bridesmaid
She makes me want to be a better linguist.
Best Man
The reason this is all happening. He would be mad if we didn't mention it.
Groomsman
Depending on who you ask, either the first or second best Finucane.
Groomsman
Oldest brother of the groom, father to Pretzel.
Groomsman
The middle Heineman, the pragmatist.
Groomsman
Esteemed colleague. Former astronaut.
Groomsman
Known since childhood. Most likely to help hide a body.
Groomsman
High school friend turned college roommate turned celebrity chef.
Officiant
Depending on who you ask, either the first or second best Finucane.
Mother of the Bride
She brought me into this world and, as I have been told, could take me out of it as well.
Father of the Bride
Mother of the Groom
Father of the Groom
Grandmother of the Bride
Local legend.
Honor Attendant
Sister of the bride, loves public speaking.
Flower Girl
Nieces of the bride.
Ring Bearer
Nephew of the bride.