Wedding Party
Billy Kirk
Groomsman
Kristin's brother and her snowboard instructor for life. Great at snowboarding, horrible at teaching based on Kristin's abilities. If we had to guess you'll probably find him at the bar.
Nick Barham
Best Man
Gabe's little brother and best man (By little we mean he's 5'6). Great musician, not as great as Gabe though. He's notorious for getting "the sauce eye" when he drinks. We're all very scared for his best man speech.
Justin Vanhook
Groomsman
Friends with Gabe for 18 years. Thus, they have a lot of inside jokes that are funny to absolutely no one else. Kidding, he's probably one of the funniest schrodes on earth! Only crew member to quit Sleeping with Sirens before being fired.
Royal Laraway
Groomsman
Friends with Gabe for a few years now, which is surprising considering their egos barely fit in the same room. He is a cannabis cultivator, do what you will with that information. Royal will likely be found sweating profusely on the dance floor.
Tim Trad
Groomsman
Tim is 8 ft tall, so he shouldn't be hard to miss. Says he's the "greatest fantasy football player of all time" but is 6th in our league. Painfully single, please help our guy out.
Brandon McMaster
Groomsman
Friends with Gabe for over 10 years. Gabe accidentally groped Brandon on his bachelor party trip (feel free to ask about it). They started Sleeping with Sirens together and both were kicked out. Good times.
Alex Howard
Groomsman
Incessantly yells "WE ARE BACK!!!" when he's with the guys. Pretty great musician despite also being fired by Sleeping with Sirens. Married and has a dog named Taco.
Cory Jolliffe
Groomsman
Also referred to as Cory Barham. Cannot spell under any circumstances. Still in his emo phase despite male pattern baldness. Somehow managed to make the cutest child on earth.
Ron Gardner
Groomsman
Very bad at texting, very good at snoring. Phenomenal sound guy, working as a tour manager. Not yet fired by Sleeping with Sirens. Also to be found at the bar.
Alex Swartz
Maid of Honor
Friends with Kristin since 1st grade. They went from sneaking out, to passing out, to peacing out and traveling the world together. Thinks she's hilarious, and 60% of the time she is. Has 25+ years of friendship with Kristin and she "crushed" her public speaking course so apparently were in for an iconic MOH speech. Single, but not in the Tim Trad way. Likely wearing a jean jacket.
Rachel Smeltzer
Bridesmaid
Met Kristin when she was crying in a bar, and she has been crying in bars ever since. Only you can't tell now because her makeup is impenetrable. Spent the majority of her 20s living with and making bad decisions with Kristin. She'll probably drink you under the table.
Sara Johnson
Bridesmaid
Friends with Kristin and Alex since 1st grade. Spent the majority of her childhood framing Kristin as the bad influence, when indeed SHE was the bad influence. Her mom hates Kristin to this day. Says her partying days are over, but will pop, lock, and drop it when 2000's music comes on.
Jenna Smetanko
Bridesmaid
Cousin to Kristin since birth. Kristin and Jenna speak solely in inside jokes, its simply impossible to understand. Her bun game is impeccable. She is newly single after calling off her wedding and has no idea how to act. Prefers tequila, 10/10 would recommend.
Alyssa Spell
Bridesmaid
Also cousin to Kristin since birth. Married so don't even try it. Switches her career every time the wind blows. Whitest teeth we have ever seen on a human being. Motherly, nurturing, and pure until Chris Brown comes on.
Whitney Wright
Bridesmaid
Cousin to Kristin. Simply flawless without makeup. Mother to two beautiful kids... and a grown man. Never takes a vacation. She will likely be swinging from the trees after a few brews.
Ashley Wilson
Bridesmaid
Commonly referred to by her real name "Paige." Cousin to Kristin. Is an RN and owns her own home. Has her shit together until she drinks tequila. Under no circumstances do you give this woman tequila. Please report all tequila activity involving Paige to the bride and groom expeditiously.
Seantea "Tea" Corvi
Bridesmaid
Not a cousin to Kristin, but commonly referred to as cousin to Kristin. An absolute girl boss. Hired Kristin once, almost fired Kristin once (or twice). She is the literal definition of down to earth (by that we mean she is 5ft tall). Don't even think she is legally allowed to drive. Thinks 1942 is a personality trait. Basically in a common law marriage, so relax.
Gabrielle McMaster
Bridesmaid
Friends with Kristin for 10+ years. Married to groomsman Brandon. Owns her own Salon in Columbus, Ohio. Covered in dog hair, human hair, or hair extensions at any given moment. Won a wet T-shirt contest to pay for a hotel room in Myrtle Beach with Kristin. Catchphrase is - "tequila?"