We met on Bumble, which is a dating app I had never heard of until my old roommate told me about it. I thought "well, I'm allergic to bees, but I'll give it a shot." Ladies are required to send the first message, so I got to use my charm. I saw a photo of Mark doing this movement that looked like he was in a limbo competition and should have won because of how low to the ground he was. Naturally, I sent a message stating "Holy flexibility, Batman!" ... and it worked.

Mark showed up at my house with his motorcycle (I had my own, but he wanted me to ride on his bike with him) and his leather vest with a patch that said "GUMBY", I said "hey, that's my nickname" and he said it was his nickname too. That's where the importance of Gumby comes from. We had dinner, then went to see the fireworks. Mark set out a blanket for us to sit on and we talked about all the things "you're not supposed to talk about on the first few dates" because we're grown ups and didn't want to waste each other's time. Deal breakers, children, religion, politics, etc. We had our first kiss under the fireworks; it doesn't get much more magical than that.

Mark left the country for work in May 2018 for about four months. Two weeks later I was diagnosed with cancer that would result in me not being able to conceive children. We were able to chat on facebook messenger and video chat about once a week. I met with my first oncologist on June 4th and begged Mark to make sure he stayed awake until we could video chat. I HAD to talk to him and tell him everything I learned. I cried for hours after hearing I would need to get a hysterectomy. Fortunately, on our first date, I said "I've never tried to get pregnant, so I can't promise I'm fertile. How do you feel about adoption or surrogacy?" so I already knew his stance on it. "Adoption wouldn't make me any less of a parent and there are plenty of kids to be loved and adopted, so I'm okay with it." When we video chatted on June 4th, I told him "Honestly, I can see myself marrying you some day, so I need you to make this decision with me. It's not just my future, it's yours too." He had the biggest smile on his face and I felt such relief because we had never discussed our future in that sense. Over the next couple of weeks we had many discussions about treatment options, questions for the oncologist, etc. Mark wanted me to ask "What would happen if I got pregnant before surgery?", to which I immediately responded by word vomiting questions... "you'd have a child out of wedlock?" "wait.. are you even referring to yourself or are you talking about me getting a sperm donor?" etc etc.. I thought ZIPPY CHANCE he's talking about getting married and trying to conceive.. it's way too soon for him. I would NEVER ask this of him because I wouldn't want to put that kind of pressure on him. Well, that's exactly what he had in mind. He came home for a week to get married and we tried to get pregnant. I had a chemical pregnancy, but it was divine intervention because the cancer had progressed after.

I was supposed to pick up Mark from the airport Sunday evening. He crafted a plan of lies and trickery to surprise me with a proper proposal. I met the photographer and our friend Derek at Fort Meade because Mark was being a bridezilla (or so I thought) and last-minute decided to get some engagement photos at the site of our first date. He asked if I would check it out with the photographer and also go pick out a suit for him with Derek. I was anxious, cranky, annoyed, hungry, and had a really bad headache. We arrived at the field with the tanks where we watched the fireworks. I had my back to the tanks and area we sat while the photographer checked the lighting and took some photos. I kept turning around because I was thinking "shouldn't we walk closer...?" then randomly there was some tall bearded guy walking toward us. I turned around again because I realized it was Mark, SOLELY from the shirt he was wearing. I would NOT have recognized him otherwise. I stood there, dumbfounded, and shouted "are you f***ing serious?" then we awkwardly and slowly walked toward one another. He got down on one knee, I kept interrupting him, then had to ask a couple hours later what he even said. This is why I can't have nice things, lol. I did not suspect a thing. He didn't know this, but the ring he got was one I've been looking at for over 8 years. I had a dream about it a few nights prior.. same size center stone and everything.

We kept our plan a secret from everyone except family and a few people that were a part of the process. It was just the two of us at the courthouse (and photographer) because his family is in South Dakota and couldn't be here for our nuptials. Mark was only home for a week and we had a TON of stuff to get done, including moving all of my stuff into his new house and most of his stuff into his new house. He bought a house a few days before he left for work, so we had a lot to take care of. We agreed to have a small ceremony and a party with our friends and family at some point in the future. So, here we are. Doing that thing. Something will happen in South Dakota, but we still don't know when.