Wedding Party
Jenna Bettinger
Maid of Honor
The ultimate eye-roller, so don’t be surprised if she silently judges your life choices all night—unless, of course, it’s time to dance. Then, she’ll be the one dragging you to the floor (whether you want to or not). Jenna is also the MC for the evening, so expect a night filled with questionable comments about the corporate cheese world and probably way too much talking-JK. She may be a bit unreliable, but when it’s time to party, she’s 100%. Just don’t count on her to be on time—or remember to charge her phone. She’s the life of the party and the one who’ll get everyone hyped up.
Matt Zarbo
Best Man
Matt is one of Joe’s brothers, about a year older than him. Anyone who truly knows Matt understands that, in his own mind, he’s the greatest person to ever exist. While most kids growing up plastered their walls with posters of their favorite athletes or rock bands, Matt took a different approach—he exclusively decorated his room with pictures of himself. As a child, Matt faced a unique challenge: elephantiasis of the ears. Out of kindness, please refrain from mentioning any of his former nicknames, such as Dumbo, Satellite Ears, Big Ears, Large Lobes, Radar Ronnie or Matty Flapjack. His ears were so prominent that his parents resorted to growing his hair long in an attempt to hide them. The plan worked—except for the unintended consequence of Matt being mistaken for a girl. Topics of conversation which Matt enjoys: Sewage, Wastewater, Fecal Matter, Sewer Plants, Grinder Pumps, Manholes, Septic Systems, Sewer Laterals, Sewer Cleanout, Sludge, Mechanical Sewer Aeration and Sewer Microbes. Don't worry, Matt will have the privilege of giving a speech at the wedding, and I’m sure he won’t hold anything back.
Megan
Bridesmaid
TGIM—Thank God it's Megan! The motto that keeps us all going. She is an exercise connoisseur—everyone knows that. But here’s the real tea: Megan loves secrets, and she has plenty of them. She is a secret vegetarian since COVID- a fact she’ll only admit under duress and break after a few espresso or elderflower infused martinis. She also has a hidden talent for ice skating and knitting—things that will surprise you. On the flip side, she’s got some secret fears, like a full-blown ceviche phobia. When it comes to dancing, Megan tears up the floor (ask to see her hip-hop moves) all while keeping Jen in check—because, let’s face it, someone has to. Megan is one of the best—loyal, hilarious, and always ready to bring the fun!
Mark Zarbo
Groomsman
Mark is Joes eldest brother. Mark is a hockey coach by day and a daddy by night...or maybe he is a daddy by day and hockey coach by night...well actually, I am not really sure but he definitely likes hockey and has a couple of kids. Oh and I think he might be married too! Mark’s favorite hobbies include - having his Father: build him a house, an addition to that house, mowing his lawn, and plowing his driveway. Currently, Mark is brainstorming his next big project for his Pop: a 2,400-square-foot garage?? If you have any suggestions for what Mark should have his father tackle next, feel free to drop him a note at the wedding! Be sure to book a private skating session today! https://markzarbohockey.com/
Scottie
Honor Attendant
Scotland Pottery - Purebred show dog with psycho-broad lineage. Enjoys: walkies, concerned bird watching, and food in her dish. About Me: When I'm not being a wild and unpredictable whirlwind, I'm a sweet and cuddly "fireplace pup," deeply loved by my whole family. But don’t let your guard down—when you least expect it, I’ll unleash my inner mischief-maker! Whether it’s counter-surfing for a stray crumb, an entire stick of butter, or even two delicious steaks while Dad’s back is turned for just a moment, I’m always ready to keep things exciting!