These were some significant moments in our relationship leading up to the vows we'll make on 4 Dec, and because you're an important part of (at least one of) our lives, we thought to invite you into our relationship and experiences by sharing some of these moments. Enjoy!

It's March 2021 and the Covid vaccine is finally out. Keziah the role-model teacher heads out to get her first jab, and Ian the extremely supportive boyfriend goes with her. There is a large "no photography" sign. But Ian, keen to capture this momentous occasion, videos the entire process. Keziah, of course, knows this, and keeps whispering "stop it!!", but Ian ignores her. The doctor goes "stop it? oh no, wait, is the jab painful?" and Keziah is kind and doesnt wanna throw Ian under the bus, so she says "no,no, it's fine". Immediately after the jab, there's a big fight. He deletes the video, but it's far too late. "I thought you'd have the maturity to do the right thing!!" she says. "What's the big deal about a photo?!" he replies. This incident highlighted a stark difference we had towards abiding by signboards; while Ian thought it might be easier to get forgiveness than permission (and also wanted a photo of the moment), Keziah was more principled, and thought it was completely immature to take photos when the sign clearly prohibited it. This is one of the many differences we're working through, and if it's one of those complementary things, we haven't figured out how yet. But well, marriage is choosing to prefer each other every time these differences arise, and we've experienced the joy of preferring and being preferred! A month later, we went back for Keziah's second jab. No photos were taken.

It's valentine's day, and Keziah' scrolling through Ian's iPad and sees "Connect 4". "I'm pretty good at this", she says. "Well.. so am I" Ian replies. A few games later (the outcome of which shall remain undisclosed), Keziah says "hey.. how come you didn't just let me win?" Ian doesn't quite know what to say. He knows he was secretly trying extra hard to win so he could prove that he's better at it, rather than just having fun. This attitude is what's spoilt the game, not whether he's winning or losing. That said, he's also learnt an important lesson: sometimes, even when you (think you) win, you lose. He's heard from his married friends that this is a principle that will serve them both well if they hope for a peaceful relationship.

Keziah's sharing about how much work she needs to do over the weekend, including converting textbook questions into worksheets because students will be more engaged. Pretending to come from a place of care, Ian suggests she could reduce her workload by just using the textbook. Thus begins a heated argument about the all-important topic of whether we should teach using textbooks or worksheets. Throughout the discussion, Ian constantly interrupted Keziah, and his words, and the way he spoke them, just put Keziah down. Finally, when the discussion ends, Keziah is persuaded that he makes sense.. But Ian doesn't feel like he's won an argument; he feels like he's lost something.. like her respect.