FAQs

Question

What time should I arrive?

Answer

Our ceremony begins at 5:30 in the evening, at the Barn at the Red Lion Inn. We kindly ask our guests to begin arriving around 5:00, to ensure there are no issues with parking.

Question

What should I wear?

Answer

We are kindly asking all of our guests to please dress in formal/cocktail attire. The majority of our event will be indoors, however, cocktail hour will be a very short walk up an outdoor path. Additionally, guests will have the option to enjoy a cocktail outside during cocktail hour if weather permits.

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What color is the bridal party wearing?

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The bridal party is wearing dark navy!

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Are my kids invited?

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Although we adore all of our friends' and families' children, we are limiting the children on our guest list to those who belong to our immediate family, and the children in our wedding party. We kindly ask all other guests to leave their children home.

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Can I bring a guest?

Answer

We welcome guests who are specifically invited and noted on your personal invitation. To ensure we can accommodate everyone, we kindly ask that you respect our venue's capacity limitations and only bring guests who are formally included on the RSVP. Thank you!

Question

Am I able to book one of the rooms at the Red Lion Inn?

Answer

As of right now, the inn rooms are reserved for our wedding party and parents. We have reserved a room block at the Nantasket Beach Resort just 15 minutes away that you are able to call and book. For more information regarding the room block, visit the ‘Travel’ section of our website.

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I have another question, but it is not here!

Answer

Please feel free to reach out to Kaylee or Vanessa directly.

Question

What should I know before attending a queer wedding? *

Answer

Most importantly: it’s a day to celebrate love — just like any other wedding!!! As you probably know by now, Vanessa is passionate about sharing information that may be lesser known to the broader public. Read on to see what fun facts Vanessa posts for you to check out! If you have specific questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out :)

Question

*Did you know that same-sex marriage has only been legal across the U.S. since 2015?

Answer

For the famous case of Obergefell v. Hodges, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) establishes that marriage is a basic human right under the U.S. Constitution, regardless of being a same-sex or opposite-sex couple. This ruling — announced on June 26, 2015 — specifically guarantees the fundamental right to marry for same-sex couples all across our country. All states are required to recognize marriage that is lawfully performed in other jurisdictions. In this landmark 5-4 decision, the majority ruling in favor of same-sex marriage were the following Honorable Justices: Anthony M. Kennedy (retired), Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RIP), Stephen Breyer (retired), Sonia Sotomayor (active democracy defender), and Elena Kagan (active democracy defender). https://www.law.cornell.edu/supremecourt/text/14-556?utm_id=97760_v0_s00_e0_tv6_a1dennhayxygvc

Question

*How is it protected?

Answer

Same-sex marriage is protected under the U.S. Constitution's 14th Amendment. The Equal Protection Clause REQUIRES all states to provide equal protection of ALL people! The Due Process Clause says, "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." (AKA there are certain fundamental rights that the government may never infringe upon.) Plus, Massachusetts was the first state to legalize same-sex marriage, effectively issuing the first licenses on May 17, 2004!

Question

*Who was Obergefell?

Answer

The lead plaintiff, Jim Obergefell (still alive and is now 59 years old), sued the state of Ohio to have his marriage recognized on his dying partner’s death certificate. RIP John Arthur (1967-2013). The case is about honoring their love and partnership by permitting legal dignity of their relationship, even past death.

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*Where does the right to marry stand today?

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Fortunately, SCOTUS denied the recent petition by Kim Davis to review Obergefell, reaffirming the 2015 ruling for the time being!

Question

*Why do people think the right could be infringed upon? Patterns...

Answer

There have been endless rollbacks due to this regime, including hundreds of rollbacks pertaining to the queer community: https://glaad.org/trump-accountability-tracker/ The man who advocated for more freedoms is actually on a rampage to take away others’ fundamental rights. Ironic, I know, right? A lot of it is, unfortunately. (I mean, who cares to spend billions of OUR tax dollars renaming the Dept of Defense, the Gulf of Mexico, the Kennedy Center, etc., but can’t fathom a person changing pronouns — something deeply personal that doesn’t impact him or cost him money….)

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*Why do people think the right could be infringed upon? Legal precedent...

Answer

Rewind to 2022 with the 5-4 decision of Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization which overturned the landmark 1973 ruling of Roe v. Wade. Roe previously established our nationwide protection to bodily autonomy (which, for example, included a person’s right to have a medically necessary D&C when miscarrying). 3 of this overturning Court’s 9 Justices were appointed by Trump under shared pretenses of overturning basic human rights (not joking): Justices Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett. ALL 3 Trump-appointed Justices voted in favor of reversing Roe v. Wade — taking away a pregnant person’s right to choose — alongside Justices Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas (BTW this is the same Clarence Thomas who is implicated in the Trumpstein Files and whose wife was pro-insurrection). So, yes, your votes matter. (Please vote in the midterms.) *Newsflash: Reversing progress, studies estimate hundreds of additional infant and maternal deaths in states with bans. [Please note: Due to systemic racism, Black mothers already faced a disproportionately higher risk, in general.] Since the overturn of Roe, Black infants’ mortality rates have risen 11%. The standard-of-care overall has especially declined for patients with pre-existing conditions, patients with pregnancy-related complications, and patients with severe congenital abnormalities that are incompatible with life. https://www.prb.org/news/abortion-bans-linked-to-sharp-rise-in-sepsis-infant-death-and-maternal-mortality-new-research-shows/ Across the US, there has been an influx of pregnant people being unable to overcome barriers to access safe abortion services. Instead, they’re forced to carry unwanted and unsafe pregnancies to term — including doomed pregnancies with diagnosed FATAL anomalies, and even including rape and incest cases in some states (again, not joking).

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Precedent Part 2

Answer

Back to the SCOTUS case of Dobbs --> In a concurring opinion (agreeing to overturn abortion), Justice Clarence Thomas argues that the legal rationale used to protect rights under "substantive due process" is flawed and that the Court has a duty to "CORRECT THE ERROR" in those precedents. (When you think of Due Process, think of our Pledge of Allegiance, “With Liberty and Justice for ALL,” not just for some.) Thomas specifically names 3 cases for RECONSIDERATION: - Griswold v. Connecticut (1965), which establishes the right for MARRIED couples to USE CONTRACEPTION. - Lawrence v. Texas (2003), paving the way for future marriage equality, grants the right to PRIVACY for INTIMATE RELATIONS, and is a pivotal victory for queer rights by invalidating sodomy restrictions nationwide (yes, any sexual-acts-that-don’t-procreate were outlawed). Visit this URL to read more because there’s so much more to say: https://www.newsweek.com/sodomy-laws-twelve-states-race-avoid-roe-wade-repeat-2019776 - Obergefell v. Hodges (2015), which establishes the right to SAME-SEX MARRIAGE nationwide. Human rights are intertwined. (Look up Kimberlé Crenshaw if you’ve never heard of the term she coined: intersectionality.) As they continue chipping away rights for the most vulnerable groups, they’ll keep move the goal posts (the “first they came for…” saying). We’re on whats called a slippery slope….

Question

*Did you know that Germany was a global leader in anatomical and medical research before WWII, before Fascism took over?

Answer

“Eldorado: Everything the Nazis Hate” (2023) is a Netflix Documentary that perfectly exemplifies parallels between historical Germany and present-day America. The film includes insight into Germany’s THRIVING QUEER COMMUNITY during the Weimar Republic, PRIOR to the Nazi Regime. Stories are featured of pioneering transgender women, like Charlotte Charlaque and Toni Ebel, who were among the first people in the world to undergo gender-affirmation surgery at Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld's Institute for Sexual Science. Book burnings were one way they tried to erase the identities of those they chose to marginalize (today we have book bans, white-washed history, defunded museums/libraries/schools). Knowledge is power! *Fascism: authoritarian, far right-winged, nationalistic form of government — think dictator, unquestionable loyalty, zero accountability, thought police — so “antifa” or anti-fascist basically means hating Hitler.* Once fascism hit full throttle, gay men were forced to wear pink triangles in Nazi concentration camps and lesbians sometimes wore black triangles. Pseudoscience and mass atrocities took over….

Question

*Did you know that Queerness has ancient roots? It’s not new!

Answer

Evidence suggests that LGBTQIA+ people have existed for millennia, with the first recorded gay couple appearing in ancient Egypt around 2400 BC. . "Boston Marriages" was a term coined in the late 1800s to describe women who lived in committed, marriage-like partnerships as a way to be together! . The famous Stonewall Inn, a gay bar, became the site of pivotal LGBTQ+ rights riots in 1969, sparking the modern gay rights movement. (This year, authorities removed their Pride flag as part of a Trump directive.) . In Oaxaca, Mexico, "Muxes" are respected individuals, biologically male but adopting feminine roles, who have long been part of the culture. ​The concept of a third gender existed in Mesoamerica before the Europeans arrived in the late 15th century. Muxes are deeply embedded in the Zapotec people's cultural fabric, a sophisticated civilization that flourished long before colonization. Anthropologists connect the acceptance of muxes to pre-Columbian accounts of Aztec priests and Mayan gods embodying both male and female characteristics. Their continued existence challenges Western gender binaries, showcasing diverse gender expressions in ancient and contemporary contexts. In essence, muxes aren't a new phenomenon but a continuation of a long-standing cultural tradition within the Zapotec community, where they've held respected, often ceremonial, roles for centuries! . Gender variance has existed across cultures for millennia: Mesopotamia: Early texts describe divine beings and people who were neither male nor female, with roles in society. Two-Spirit: An umbrella term for Indigenous North American people with diverse gender identities beyond male/female, holding unique spiritual and social roles. Hijra: A recognized third gender in South Asia, with roles and identities stretching back thousands of years. Māhū: A Hawaiian concept of nonbinary individuals with important cultural roles.

Question

*Do you know the difference between gender identity & sexual identity?

Answer

*For a fun, visual answer: search “genderbread person diagram” in your browser!* A person’s gender identity describes how they feel and wish to express themselves. They can fall on a spectrum of masculine, androgynous, feminine…and identities can change, too! (Examples of common gender identities are woman, man, nonbinary.) A person’s sexual identity is linked to anatomical body parts. (Examples of common sexual identities include cisgender male, cisgender female, transgender male, transgender female, intersex.) - To be cisgender means that you identify with the anatomy you were born with. - To be intersex means that you have atypical, or diverse, sex characteristics. It’s more common than you think! Harvard Medicine’s magazine describes, “Each year, a portion of the population is born with biological characteristics—sex chromosomes, gonads, genitalia, hormones, or a combination—that don’t fit textbook definitions of male or female. Most differences present at birth….Estimates of incidence range from more than 1 in 100 to less than 1 in 5,000 births, suggesting a prevalence between 66,000 and 3.3 million people in the United States. For comparison, Down syndrome occurs in 1 in 800 births.” The more you know! Where do you fall on the genderbread person spectrum for all the things?