It's Gonna Be May!

So, here’s how it all started: I had just moved from California to Wyoming, which was a huge change because, let’s be real, I traded palm trees and high taxes for truck balls and high winds. I went to a block party and met my new neighbor, Victoria, who had just moved from Pennsylvania to Wyoming herself. We hit it off right away and exchanged, like, a solid 12-minute conversation about how weird Wyoming was, which is pretty much the foundation of all great friendships. At some point, Victoria mentioned her friend John May, who she went to school with back in Pennsylvania, and she said we’d probably get along because we both had an impeccable sense of humor. So, naturally, we swapped phone numbers. Who needs small talk when you can play 20 questions via text? Fast forward to Facebook creeping (it’s fine, John May was totally creeping back) John and I friended each other. After 12 years of Facebook friends status, we somehow never met in person. In those 12 years, we basically became experts in digital friendship without ever actually being in the same room. So when both of us went through breakups in 2020, we reconnected—and by reconnected, I mean we started talking every day, which is basically the 2020 version of therapy. Long story short: One day, John and I realized we were way too into each other to ignore it. How embarrassing for him. We didn’t just have a pandemic friendship—this was a full-blown romance! We decided to try long-distance, which was more about sending memes than actual love letters, but hey, it worked. Then came the ultimate sacrifice: John May moved across the country to be with me. I know what you’re thinking—no one’s willing to drive through Ohio unless it’s serious. So yeah, this guy had it bad. And just when I thought it couldn’t get more dramatic, John pulled off the proposal like he didn’t already know I was 100% in for this crazy ride. Fast forward to now, and we’re planning a wedding, which is basically just a fancy way to make everyone watch us publicly declare how ridiculous and happy we are together. Here we are, making our dreams come true, and it turns out "forever" is just the start. Who could have imagined life would be so fergalicious? Because, really, who wouldn’t want to live forever with someone who made you laugh until your abs hurt, even from across the country? John May is truly the other half of me- the better half. We are so in love, it’s disgusting, and now we get to share that with you.