Well so one of my best friend's sister was going to get married. We needed some entertainment. Ayra's wedding was supposed to be where I found my man, but clearly that was not going to work... We lost hope in that plan. Well actually I guess it all first started when in 2020, as we finished up a senior inquiry project on an artist that cut cross sections of cows, Ayra thought she'd marry Mark Sloan and Khushi thought she'd marry Nic Kaufmann. Turns out, Mark Sloan is a fictional character. Nic Kauffman lives in Germany (Khushi HATES the idea of long distance). Long distance just never works. I say, it's not even worth a shot trying tbh. Why try? Anyways, I digress. After this, we hoped that Ayra would get married to a hot muslim man and Khushi would meet his bestie at the wedding, and you know, badabing badaboom, lovers 4L. Turns out, we both got with men who absolutely pretended to be awesome and then decided they actually can't do long distance on a random Monday. So, heart been broke so many times IIIII don't know what to believe. #rightwhereyouleftme typa beat, ifykyk. Anywho. I digress - again. So, Ayra's sister is going to get married now and I guess that's our only hope. We're looking for two HOT (emphasis on HOT) men to come slide and sweep us off our feet. We realized that if we're going to get hurt anyways, why not get hurt by someone who's hot yk. Anywho, if you're interested, drop a resume and cover letter by 06/05/26 11:59pm. Resume must demonstrate high intellect and rigor as well as many soft skills. Height requirement 6'. Cover letter should express genuine intent to marry and to try no matter what distance comes between us. (This is a sore subject obviously). Please explain why you want us (I mean it's pretty obvious, who wouldn't, we're so intimidating. Well but ig our ex men didn't want us so. But anywho it's cuz of the intimidation factor obviously. Again, I must digress). Also make sure your cover letter includes 1) your dream date, 2) your favorite song and why, and 3) your deepest philosophical existential nightmare. Also, please insert picture of yourself. Thanks.