The Mystery (Sacrament) of Holy Matrimony, which unites a man and a woman who solemnly vow fidelity one to another before God and the Church, is in the image of the union of fidelity between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:25-32). Through this Mystery, God bestows upon the newly married couple His grace by which they are to live together in His love, mutually fulfilling and perfecting one another throughout life. The primary purpose of Orthodox marriage is to provide a man and a woman with mutual companionship of a kind that facilitates the salvation of their souls. The ceremony in which this Mystery is solemnized has two distinct parts which were conducted separately in antiquity but today are conducted as one continuous service. Still, each part is performed today exactly as in earlier times. These parts are “The Betrothal” and “The Crowning” or Wedding proper.
The Betrothal, which is itself a profound Mystery of the Church and may not be broken, short of canonical divorce, was in earlier times performed a year or even more before the Crowning. Normally, betrothal relationships were stable in Orthodox societies. Today, however, the Church deems it wise to perform the Betrothal immediately before and in union with the Wedding Service. The Betrothal takes place in the rear of the church and centers on the exchange of rings on the right hands of the couple. To open the ceremony, the tolling of bells proclaims the presence of the Holy Spirit and calls upon the faithful, the saints, and the angels of God to witness the solemn event. As the bell peals, the maids of honor, icon bearers, and ring bearer enter and take their places on both sides at the rear of the church.
As the bell falls silent, the choir chants the hymn "0 Heavenly King, Comforter, the Spirit of Truth" while the groom, escorted by his best man, enters the temple and assumes his place with the wedding party. The hymn expresses the Church's intent that the groom live in the image of the King of Heaven. Now the choir chants the hymn "It is truly meet to call thee blessed" as the bride enters escorted by her father and followed by her bridesmaid and takes her place to the groom's left. The hymn expresses the intent of the Church that the bride live in imitation of the Mother of God, the Queen of creation, perfectly at one with Christ.
The priest and deacon now proceed out of the sanctuary and take their places facing the bridal pair. The priest uses a lighted candle to sign the groom three times in the form of the cross, then first gives a candle to the groom who holds it. In like manner the priest signs the bride and presents her with a lighted candle. The lights which the bridal couple now hold symbolize the Light of Christ Which enlightens every man who comes into the world (John 1:9). The light of the candles likewise symbolizes Christ's Gospel, which enlightens the path of salvation for those who remain faithful. The candles themselves, made of pure beeswax, symbolize the purity of the bride and groom which through faithfulness will continue to shine with the light of virtue throughout their lives (John 3:20-21) . As a constant reminder of the Holy Trinity the priest signs the bridal pair three times with the candles, and, at each subsequent and important point in the wedding ceremony the priest will likewise make each pronouncement over the bridal pair three times in honor of the Holy Trinity.
At this point, the deacon leaves his place at the side of the priest to cense the high place (altar), the icon screen, the priest and the couple, and everyone present. The sweet aroma of the incense symbolizes the coming of the Holy Spirit upon the gathering. Returning to his place to the right of the priest, the deacon asks the priest to give the blessing. The service proper begins when the priest exclaims: "Blessed is our God always, now, and ever, and unto the ages of ages." The deacon then begins the Great Litany of Peace which petitions God that peace and unity be sent down upon all men, but especially upon the groom and bride, asking God to grant them perfect and peaceful love and succor. The priest concludes the litany with a prayer that God may bless the pair, as He blessed Isaac and Rebecca and made them heirs of the promise.
The priest now takes the rings, which symbolize eternity and royalty, and blesses the bridal pair with them by making the sign of the cross three times over each with the other's ring. While doing so he exclaims in turn: "The servant of God is betrothed to the handmaiden God, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." (three times) Then, "The handmaiden of God is betrothed to the servant of God in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." (three times) Next, the priest places the rings on the ring finger of the right hands of the Groom and Bride. The right hand is adorned because it is the hand of blessing and authority. Then, assisted by the best man, the pair exchange the rings three times to pledge their mutual integrity in love, their sharing of one another's authority, and their willingness to share all the toils and hardships of life. Once again, the priest prays that the betrothal of the couple may be established in faith, in unity of mind, in truth and in love, for God has declared that a pledge should be given and confirmed in all things, as was given unto Joseph in Egypt and unto other figures in the Old and New Testaments. Finally, he prays that God may let His angel go before the couple all their days.
The Betrothal completed, the priest wraps the hands of the bride and groom in his epitrachelion (stole) to symbolize the Church's binding them in sacred union. The pair, guided by the priest, now processes to a table set in front of the Beautiful Gates (the central gates in the icon screen) where they remain standing. As they process to the table, the deacon (symbolizing God's angel) censes before them while the priest proclaims biblical verses at each step, to which the choir responds: "Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee." During the procession, still illumined by the Light of Christ (symbolized by the lighted candles); prepared by the Holy Spirit (symbolized by the incense); accompanied by the proclamation of the Word of God in verses; and led by the priest (representing Christ and His Church), the couple symbolically step forth on the path of life toward union in Holy Matrimony—a reflection of union with Christ in eternal salvation.
The Crowning Service opens with the priest's blessing: “Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Always, Now and Ever, and unto the Ages of Ages. Amen.” Three prayers of blessing follow, recapitulating God's blessings upon holy husbands and wives in the Scriptures and asking God to bless the pair now to be wed, exalting them like the cedars of Lebanon and granting them seed like in number to full ears of grain. The priest now crowns the groom unto the bride thrice. The groom kisses the crown and the priest places it on his head. Likewise, the priest crowns the bride unto the groom three times. She kisses the crown and it is likewise placed upon her head. The best man, standing behind the bridal pair, then exchanges the crowns three times while the priest exclaims the blessing: "0 Lord our God, crown them with honor and glory." The crowns, which are wreaths of flowers, have several significations. They recall the dignity and beauty of marriage as ordained by God for the continuation of the generation and establishment of His Kingdom. For, man and wife are crowned to be sovereigns of a new Christian family, which they are to rule with love, humility, wisdom and patience. The crowns also represent the honor and reward bestowed upon the bride and groom for the purity of their lives. They, too, symbolize the royalty of the newly wed couple which has been bestowed upon them by God as heirs of the heavenly Kingdom achieved through fidelity to Christ. At the same time they betoken holy martyrdom, for, despite its many joys, marriage also requires mutual self-sacrifice for Christ's sake. Even as the holy martyrs achieved salvation through perfect obedience to God unto death, so husband and wife achieve union with Christ by submitting one to another, becoming one will in faithfulness to God despite life's adversites and woes. The act of exchanging crowns symbolizes the intermingling of the blessings, gifts and personalities of husband and wife.
Now the Holy Scriptures are read. The Epistle is from St. Paul's exhortation to husbands and wives in the Epistle to the Ephesians (5:20-33) concerning their responsibilities toward one another in marriage, that great mystery, as Paul declares it, in which the partners become one flesh. The Gospel is from St. John (2:1-12), describing the marriage at Cana of Galilee in which the Savior performs the beginning of His miracles by transforming water into wine. Even as Christ was present there, He is present also here, and will remain present throughout the life of the bridal pair.
After the Gospel, the deacon leads the Litany of Fervent Supplication which begins: "Let us all say, with all our soul and with all our mind, let us say: Lord, have mercy!" in which the congregation prays for mercy, life, peace, health, salvation and the visitation of God and His Holy Angels to be bestowed upon the bridal pair. The priest then petitions God to grant the bridal pair to live together in purity, and to attain mature old age, always walking in His commandments with a pure heart. After further petitions led by the deacon, the priest prays: "And vouchsafe, 0 Lord, that boldly and without condemnation, we may dare to call upon Thee, God, the heavenly Father, and to say." Then, by way of instructing the bridal pair to pray as Christ intended (Matthew 6:7), the Lord's Prayer is then said by the choir and people.
Now the common cup of wine is brought forward. The priest blesses it and gives the groom and bride to drink three times each in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. The mutual partaking of this cup symbolizes the sharing both of joys and woes and symbolically teaches the couple that happiness in marriage comes only through communion in Christ and mutually sharing the “cup of life” with one another. The common cup is token that the bridal pair should live in unbroken concord and possess and use undivided every material gift they acquire throughout life.
Now the priest again binds the hands of the bridal pair with his epitrachelion (stole) and leads them around the Gospel three times. The circling motion represents eternity. In this procession the priest represents the Church as it guides and leads the couple in their first steps as husband and wife, even as Christ taught: "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life." The new husband and wife carry their lighted candles again symbolizing Christ, Who is the Light unto their feet as they walk in His Way. During each procession around the Holy Gospel the choir now chants the great themes of the couple's life in Christ: The first hymn commemorates the Incarnation of Christ: "Rejoice, 0 Isaiah! A Virgin is with child and shall bear a son, Emmanuel, both God and man..." The second hymn commemorates the holy Martyrs who fought the good fight in this life and have received eternal crowns. “ O Holy Martyrs, who fought the good fight and have received your crowns… The third hymn gives glory to Christ-God and those who follow Him: “Glory to The, O Christ God, the Apostles’ boast, the Martyr’s joy, whose preaching was the consubstantial Trinity.”
The priest now removes the groom's crown while he exclaims: "Be thou exalted like unto Abraham . . ." Similarly, he removes the bride's crown while proclaiming: "Be thou exalted like unto Sarah . . ." Next the priest prays God to bless those who have been united, and preserve their union indissoluble, that they may evermore give thanks unto His all-holy name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. In ancient times, newly-wedded couples used to wear their crowns for eight days, a custom that served powerfully to reinforce the solemnity and sanctity of marriage.
Pronouncing the dismissal, the priest bestows a final benediction commemorating Saints Constantine, Helen, and Procopius whose example exhorts the newly married pair. Saints Constantine and Helen are invoked as outstanding disseminators of the Faith. Saint Procopius is remembered for once exhorting a group of twelve women to approach their martyrdom by the pagan Romans as though it were a marriage feast. The Exhortation The Priest delivers a short exhortation.
The priest leads the newly married couple in reverencing the Holy Gospel and the Holy Icons of Christ and the mother of God. He then holds the cross for the newlyweds to kiss. After, the newly-weds kiss the Holy Gospel and the Holy Icons the stand in the center of the church before the icons and Christ's Gospel and the assembled faithful, they kiss one another.