Matron of Honor
Blonde bombshell, but the smart kind Drink pusher Notorious for falling asleep mid-conversation
Best Man
Just happy to be here
Bridesmaid
Will be crying more than the bride Here for the free beer Unable to function without her daily 16 hours of sleep
Best Man
Always rockin' Your go-to for spare underwear Hopes to make it past his 6PM bedtime
Bridesmaid
Hates cardio Hopes they come out with a protein beer Just a couple drinks away from grabbing a strangers butt
Groomsman
Crazy cat dad Will only request scream cries on the dance floor You're balding man, it's okay
Bridesmaid
Ben's emergency break FOMO Has a strict diet of chicken fingers and Caesar salad
Groomsman
Illiterate. Don't tell him what we're saying about him Hoping for a better crop yield next year
Officiant
Probably forgot something Most likely to sprain her ankle doing nothing Should probably just come with a warning label
Usher
Always has to be right Still not over the 28-3 Falcon Super Bowl loss Probably has a gambling problem