I was in a really hard place in my life. I had signed up for a christian dating app called Upward, mainly because I was bored. I was discouraged by due to a lot of extremely difficult circumstances that had happened all at once. On January 4th 2022 Jess and I matched. We intermittently talked for a couple of weeks and finally decided that we would go out on a date. Our first date was great! We had a blast, we really hit it off. We had the same sense of humor. We had such thought provoking conversations about what the Lord had been doing in our lives and where we wanted to be later in life. Our next date was only a few days after the first. We decided to go to Jess’ favorite breakfast restaurant, “First Watch.” This was a pretty significant date for us. As we were sitting and talking, the Lord showed me that I was going to marry the woman in front of me. I had no doubt in my mind. About halfway through the date Jess excused herself from the table and went to the restroom. I could sense something was wrong, but I had no idea what it could be. After she came back, we continued to talk. She mentioned her church and how she was on the worship team, and I got really excited! I had been a worship leader for 20 years at this point and was looking for a church. I said to her, “Hey, I have been looking for a church to attend and help with leading worship.. Would you mind if I go with you?” She awkwardly agreed, and we went to church immediately after breakfast. Once we got to church, everyone was so incredibly welcoming! It seemed like I fit right in! I was able to have so many great conversations with people! I was able to watch her lead worship for the first time and I was even more hooked! I couldn’t stop daydreaming about that being us leading worship together. Once church was over, we each went our separate ways. The significance of that date as I later found out, was that she went to the restroom crying because she felt she needed break up with me because I was too nice. She was afraid. So as I was deciding I was going to spend the rest of my life with this woman, she was preparing to break up with me. She later told me that the reason she didn’t break up with me after the date was over was that I invited myself to her church. She told me that she saw how well I fit in with her church family, so she decided to give me a chance. I am so thankful that she did. February 13th, 2022 was a big date! She had shared with me that she had never been someone’s Valentine’s day date before! Since I was working at the fire station on valentines day, we decided to celebrate the day before. I told her to dress nice and I would pick her up. We went to a fancy dinner at Firebird’s. After dinner, we still had some time before we were going to sips and strokes, so we went to target. I went in and got her flowers and her favorite wine that she told me about during dinner. When I came back out she gave me the card she wrote for me. She told me that she decided that she wanted to be in a relationship and not just to date. So, our adventure officially began. The next couple of months were great! We were inseparable. My daughter even met her and fell in love with her just like I did. We met each other’s families and friends. However, soon after things started to unravel. The Lord started to reveal a lot of things in us that needed to change before we could truly be together. Things like selfishness, pride, and stubbornness. All of these things coupled with us trying to put too much pressure on the relationship way too fast caused our relationship to crumble.
On July 17th, 2022 Jess told me that she felt like the Lord told her we had to break up. She said that she felt the Lord telling her that the only way we could become who we needed to be to be right for each other is to break up. I was devastated. This was the woman that the Lord Himself showed me I was going to marry, and now we are breaking up. We decided that we would leave it in a way that if the Lord decided to bring us back together, then we would remain open to it. Looking back I am so thankful that Jess was willing to do what I wasn’t unwilling to do. The reason was because at the time I was unwilling to fully surrender this woman to the Lord. I selfishly was trying to hold on to the relationship because it’s what I wanted. This exact scenario was always what I was afraid of the most. That the Lord would allow me to meet the person He truly had for me to serve and commit to for the rest of my life, and then ask me to surrender them back to Him. I wrestled with this for ten months. The next 10 months were very difficult for both of us. Between the hurt of losing a relationship we both wanted, and still serving on the same worship team together, it made it all the more difficult. However, through all the pain and awkwardness, the Lord began working in and changing our hearts. Over that 10 months Jess had decided to move on. She loved me, but was no longer interested in me romantically. In fact, she couldn’t stand to look at me for the longest time because I had grown out my mustache. I know this seems trivial but it’s actually an integral part of the story. You see, when we were dating, Jess had seen a picture of my mustache from before we met which I had shaved beforehand. She told me that if I had that mustache when we met, we never would have dated at all. After we broke up, being single I decided I wanted to grow it back out. It made Jess so angry. She thought I was growing it out just to spite her. You’re going to want to remember this for later. Around mid April of 2023 Jess heard the Lord tell her it was time to leave the Church we were attending. This church has been her family for 6 years and had walked with her through a lot of difficult times in her life. She was heartbroken, but she knew without a doubt that’s what the Lord was telling her to do. On May 19, 2023 I decided to surrender Jess to the Lord. My feelings for her had not changed, I still knew I would marry her, but I also knew that I had to give her to the Lord and move on in obedience and surrender to Him. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made, but I knew it was what the Lord was telling me to do. What I didn’t know at that time was that 3 weeks prior the Lord had started working in Jessica heart, softening it towards me again. She had started to miss me and think about me. This was very confusing for her because she knew the Lord was telling her to leave our church. May 21, 2023 was the last Sunday Jess and I would attend our church and serve on that worship team together. Jessica didn’t want to see me, she just wanted to stay away until church was over. The feelings just kept coming. We led worship together and sat down for the sermon. Jess kept thinking, “Why am I attracted to him?” “Wait, did he shave his mustache?!?” She inconspicuously turned to the back to glance at me. “No, he still has it. What’s wrong with me?” She told the Lord, “Lord, if I am meant to have a conversation with him today about how I am feeling, then provide an opportunity. Well, the Lord delivered. She came up to me after the service and said, “Hey, when would be a good time for us to talk?” I’m thinking, “What on earth could she possibly have to talk to me about?” I said, Is this a walk outside kind of talk, or a let’s get lunch kind of talk? She asked, “Can we go get lunch?” Remember this.
We went to lunch right after church. We talked about what all the Lord had been doing in our lives. Keep in mind, this is the first real and satisfying conversation we have had in almost a year. Finally, I told her, “Listen, I am really enjoying talking to you, but I have a feeling you didn’t ask me to lunch to just chat” She told me no it wasn’t. She said, “but first let me ask you a question. It’s not going to make sense, but I just want you to answer.” “Do you still vape?” You see, there is one key piece to this puzzle that I have yet to disclose, the fast. January of 2023 started our church’s time of fasting and praying. This is a time where we give up things that take up a lot of our time unnecessarily, or that may or may not be good for us in order to spend more time with the Lord. Where this gets interesting is that back in January Jessica had prayed a very specific prayer. She prayed that if I was ready for another relationship then, the Lord would put it on my heart to quit vaping. Quit I did. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t really sure why I decided to do that. Then it hit me! Back in January I had prayed a very specific prayer as well! I prayed, “Lord, if Jess and I are supposed to be together, then put it on her heart to initiate some 1 on 1 time involving some kind of food or drink. Which is exactly what she did. She continued to tell me about how the Lord has been softening her heart towards me and before she left and didn’t see me again, she wanted to know if us being together was even a remote possibility. Shortly after that conversation we decided to officially try things again. Ever since the Lord has brought us back together, we both have seen so many huge changes in each other. One of the things I can say about Jessica is that when I first met her I saw a beautiful, intelligent and funny woman. Now when I look at her, I see a wife. I’m not saying I just see MY wife. I’m saying I see A wife. I see the heart of a wife, the love of a wife, the forgiveness of a wife, etc. The Lords has blessed us by orchestrating all of this out. I am so incredibly thankful for every tear we cried, and every heartbreaking moment we experienced because I know beyond any doubt that we, especially I would not be the same today without every moment. Now remember how I said that the mustache was an important part of the story? Well, In case there is anyone out there that doesn’t believe that the Lord performs miracles, this is one of them. On June 21, 2023 Jess came to me and said, “I never thought in a million years that I would say this but, when we get married I want you to have your mustache in the wedding.”