Maid of Honor
Jentri is Skylar's younger sister and lifelong shadow dweller. As Skylar's travel companion/ test dummy/ baby doll growing up, Jentri was a no-brainer Maid of Honor choice. Jentri enjoys cooking delicious food, leaving an abnormally large mountain of dirty dishes after cooking delicious food, and eating the delicious food that she cooked with too many dishes. She's also into a variety of seemingly random things: rock climbing, throwable weapons, long board art, and long walks on the beach with a pina colada in hand. It is rumored that Jentri has a sixth toe on one of her feet, so don't be surprised if she's wearing covered shoes for the wedding. Or maybe it's just a cold day, we guess the world will never know. Having gone to a "nature" school as a child, Jentri has an extraordinary ability to identify native Michigan birds by their call. Skylar takes advantage of this every chance she gets, calling Jentri to squawk into the phone and ask Jentri to identify the bird. To nobody's surprise, Jentri can never make it out.
Best Man
Most of you know Greg better by his informal title: Jeff's Older Brother. Sometimes Greg is referred to as JV Jeff on account of his living in JV Chicago (New Yawk) and his perpetual status as Runner-Up in Lord Selewski's Cup at the hands of his younger brother. Jeff is undefeated against Greg in every debate they've ever had, mostly because Greg doesn't understand the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence (otherwise known as philosophy). Regardless, Jeff is incredibly lucky to have a brother he also considers one of his best friends, despite Greg's inferiority. Jeff has inherited many things from JV Jeff including, but not limited to: his used clarinet, his torn/battered clothing, and a few childhood concussions. Greg's most notable accomplishment is creating the "three story long chug". If you don't know what it is, with any luck, you'll learn at the wedding. Greg enjoys Scrubs, the Legend of Zelda, and a good Old Fashion cocktail.
Bridesmaid
Samantha is Jeff's younger sister. When Jeff first met Samantha, he exclaimed "she's all wrinkly and pink". When Skylar first met Samantha, she exclaimed "She looks just like Jeff". Samantha has the second most beautiful blue eyes in the Selewski family, only behind Jeff. Samantha enjoys the Hunger Games (Team Gale), Harry Potter (Team Dumbledore), and the Amazing Spider-Man (Team Garfield). Skylar and Samantha have several similarities: They both own cats (who get along about as well as Scar and Mufasa), after a few drinks they both take on the persona of a British Parliament Member, and they both are forced to have Jeff in their life. As Samantha is a future Physician's Assistant, Skylar very much looks forward to free medical advice for the rest of her life. Keep studying hard, Samantha. We all need this.
Groomsman
Lloyd and Jeff have known each other for approximately 27 years. Mostly because they are cousins. However, most people don't share the friendship with cousins that Lloyd and Jeff share. From an early age, Lloyd and Jeff have shared everything, including bath water. On special occasions, it is possible that Adult Lloyd and Adult Jeff still share the tub. When Jeff proposed to Skylar, it was made clear that she is making a lifelong commitment to Lloyd too, on account of the cousin's love for one another. The only thing Jeff and Lloyd have ever disagreed on stems from Lloyd being a dirty, rotten Wolverine. Lloyd enjoys Pickleball, Detroit sports, and smothering roasted chicken in garlic parmesan sauce with his bare hands. At the wedding, Lloyd will almost certainly be caught Fortnite dancing his way across the dance floor, and drinking Whiskey Gingers.
Bridesmaid
Coryn is Skylar's "I used to hate you" friend. Having thrown blocks at each other in Preschool, Skylar and Coryn didn't start off on the right foot. However, after maturing to the ripe age of 7, Skylar and Coryn agreed to put the cardboard blocks down and start what would become a lifelong friendship. Both Coryn and Skylar would like to thank Mr. Prickles, the second grade classroom Hedgehog, for selecting these two ladies to care for him, giving them an opportunity to put their differences aside. Anyone who has put up with Skylar for that long deserves to be in the wedding. Coryn has been described as a "free spirit". You wouldn't normally be able to tell just from looking at her though. The dreadlocks, tree tattoo, and flare pants can throw anyone through a loop. Coryn loves traveling, her dog Hank, and getting down at the Holiday bar with her friends. Coryn also booked Skylar and Jeff's honeymoon, so if you're looking for a travel agent, hit her up. #ShamelessFriendPromoting #AspenTravel.
Groomsman
Trey (Sami/Trey'von) is Skylar's older brother. As you can imagine, having Skylar talk for you as a child has led Trey to be called "quiet" or "shy". However, put some tequila in him, and Trey becomes marginally less "quiet" or "shy". It is theorized that Trey chose his career based on a desire for social outlet. Trey is an accountant. Having wrestled for nearly his whole life, Trey intimidated Jeff upon them meeting. "Why is this muscular, hairy man not answering my questions?" Jeff asked himself. To which Trey replied: " ... ". If you're struggling to start conversation with Trey, here are some topics you can bring up: fishing, his dog Greta, and Ju Jitsu. If anyone objects to the marriage, Trey has promised to Rear Naked Choke their way out of the ceremony. Trey has an affinity for getting locked out of his home, so if anyone sees him banging on the door to get in at the wedding, just ignore it.
Bridesmaid
Shannon is Skylar's friend from college, having met in the dorms. Both ladies were a member of the education fraternity (KDP) at Michigan State. Surprisingly, and we don't know how, both of them ended up leading KDP as president and vice-president in their senior year. Being responsible for member admissions into the fraternity, Jeff and his roommate Luke decided to create a fake application to mess with the girls. Long story short, Hugh Janus was proudly admitted into their professional fraternity. Shannon will never let Skylar dance alone. In fact, she often came to Skylar's aid when she needed to win a college bar dance off. They will both claim that they are undefeated in drunken dance competitions, but the reality is most opponents usually gave up because Shannon and Skylar stopped giving their opponents a turn to try. I guess Miller Lite fuels the illusion of victory. Shannon is an incredible mother to her son, Sully and proud pet mom to her cats and dog.
Groomsman
Nick is Jeff's "I used to hate you" friend. Having grown up on opposite sides of a heated neighborhood turf war, Nick and Jeff didn't exactly use professional language with each other as children. In fact, the rudest thing Jeff has ever said to anyone was directed at Nick. We won't repeat those words here, as Jeff's mother will probably read these. Nick has since forgiven Jeff for his audacity after smashing Jeff's proudest artistic project, a Ronald McDonald Halloween Pumpkin, against the sidewalk. Nick is known for his loyalty, ability to sleep on/in/under anything, and accidentally leaving his belongings at Jeff's house (often times, his Bud Light, which Jeff isn't complaining about). Having spent most of their free time playing Call of Duty and listening to Rap music in Nick and Kenny's basement as middle/high-schoolers, Jeff has grown to love their home as his own. (Mr. and Mrs. Fanelli, if you're reading this, please don't ever sell your house). Jeff would also like to take this moment to give a shoutout to Mr. Pickers M.D., the Fanellis overweight childhood cat. RIP.
Bridesmaid
Ashley and Skylar spent their days in college doing everything college women do together. This included avoiding social contact with other people living on their floor, getting fried food from Sparty's while cramming for exams, and spending hours dancing on sticky bar floors telling people to leave them alone. They also lived together for majority of their college career because of their joint belief that people suck, but they were able to coexist flawlessly. Why risk living with someone who is loud, minorly psychotic, and faints frequently when you can live with Ashley and know that's exactly what you're in for. Ashley is known for being the forceful communicator. This forceful communication was most notably seen when Ashley would put boys in their place if they got within a 5 foot radius of her or any of her female friends at a bar. Thank you, Ashley, for not scaring Jeff away and allowing him into your close circle of approved humans.
Groomsman
Kenny is a childhood friend of Jeff's but also his college roommate. Kenny and Jeff spent every year at Michigan State living together, which surprisingly didn't drive them apart. However, not being able to beat Jeff in any video game that entire time really ate at Kenny, eventually forcing him into isolation, taking shelter in the forest. That is why Kenneth works as a Forester in the U.P. Jeff initially loved the novelty of having a forester friend, often sending Kenny pictures of trees and asking what kind they are. Apparently Jeff did it too often, because now Kenny just ignores Jeff's texts. As our resident Yooper, Kenny knows all the good ice fishing and hiking spots for the group to enjoy. Kenny has awful taste in candy, loves Busch Lite like it's his mother, has proclaimed the Beefy-5 Layer Burrito as his favorite food, and can cut a match with an ax (and has the trophies to prove it). In High School, Kenny drove a purple Ford Ranger- deemed "The Purp Truck" amongst friends. He regrets selling to this day.
Bridesmaid
Bri is Skylar and Jeff's friend from college. A fellow Spartan that has decided to legally join their friend group by marrying a groomsman in the party, Jeremy. Bri is known for always being the logical thinker of the group. Often, the boys come up with another stupid/dangerous adventure, where Bri steps in to remind them how stupid they are being. For this, we love and appreciate Bri and her willingness to put the boys in check. Bri's drink of choice is hard cider. You will probably find her on the dance floor with contraband hard cider brought in from outside the venue that enhance her dance moves. Bri grew up in the Chicago suburbs, so she understands what true pizza looks and tastes like.
Groomsman
Jeremy is Jeff's first, non-family friend. Having lived four houses down from one another as children, Jeff would knock on Jeremy's door at exactly 11am every day during the summer. Jeff and Jeremy would then immediately proceed to Jeremy's basement to waste away their potential in front of the PlayStation 2. Jeff would put Jeremy's Sly Cooper knowledge against anyone in the world. Jeremy enjoys good coffee, good beer, Rock N' Roll, and cool cars. Having seen his "sk8r boi" phase, Jeff sincerely misses Jeremy's shaggy, red hair and tight jeans. Jeremy is engaged to another Wedding Party Member, Bri (sorry ladies, he's taken). Please see Bri's profile for details. Jeremy has been described as an 80 year old man in a 20 year old body, but Jeff likes to describe it as being "ahead of his time".