It is funny to us when people ask us how we met because the truth is: we aren’t sure. Jim says he was never introduced to Mary and Mary can’t remember a time in her life when Jim wasn’t around. Jim met Mary’s brother, Michael, in 2000 when they were in the 6th grade (Mary was in kindergarten then). They were on the same basketball team and although Michael only said about 8 words the whole season, they still played well together and became very close the next year through their mutual friend, Joe DeBuck. Jim loved going over to the Butcher house which had an adjustable basketball hoop, video games allowed during the week, huge bags of German chocolates and Famous Amos cookies, and 3 little blonde girls running around wherever the boys weren’t because Michael did not mix friends and family. Although Jim and Joe would tease Michael about not knowing how many sisters he had or what their names were, maybe it’s a good thing their paths didn’t cross; perhaps we wouldn’t be where we are today?

Mary and Jim grew up very close to each other but in separate worlds. Both were accomplished student-athletes at Palos Verdes Peninsula High School, but 7 years apart. Their worlds crept closer again when Jim coached at Peninsula for a few seasons after he graduated college. A joke Jim likes to tell people who ask, ‘how did you two meet?’ is that he coached the high school volleyball team when Mary was playing. Don’t worry, Jim coached the boys team and the two don’t remember even exchanging one word (but Jim does remember seeing Mary hit a ‘1’ ball during a game and was impressed). The future betrothed continued to grow up seeing each other only in family Christmas cards or when Mary would open the front door to the Butcher house when Jim would come by to see Michael. For Michael’s 30th birthday, worlds collided as Michael invited both his friends and his sisters to an enormous house in Temecula for the weekend. Fast forward five more Christmas cards and Michael was getting married. As Jim was thrilled to be there as Michael’s best man, he was captivated at how beautiful a woman Mary had become. Jim fondly recalls being unable to look away from her throughout the weekend. They felt jolts of excitement from good conversations and a few dances they shared. The next day when driving home, Jim longingly shared to his long-time friends, Chris and Omar, that he wanted to find a way to ask Mary out and they both independently said, ‘that is a terrible idea.’ But, as fate or fortune would have it, Jim had a plan for this ‘terrible idea’.

The day after Michael returned from his honeymoon, one of Jim’s customers had offered him tickets to a Kings game. Sitting on the couch at his parents’ house, Jim launched a ‘Hail Mary for Mary’ text as he asked Michael if he and his wife, Lilybeth, would like to join him for the game. Michael said yes (of course he would!) and then Jim said he had a fourth ticket and asked if Mary would like to join. Michael’s response, ‘Interesting. Why?’ The cat was tiptoeing out of the bag as Michael, Lilybeth, Mary, and Jim drove to the hockey game a couple weeks later. The first two periods of the game went by slow and without much connection or intrigue. As things looked very unlikely to advance, the ice broke with the unlikely topic of ‘escape rooms.’ To Jim’s unending joy, it turns out Mary LOVES them as she adores puzzles and games. The night then sped up very quickly, one of the teams won the hockey game, and the unofficial ‘double-daters’ had booked an escape room for the next day. Over the coming weeks, Jim coincidentally had a lot of work trips down to Los Angeles and the four spent more time together teaming up in LA’s escape room scene. There was clearly chemistry and a lot of commonalities, so Jim called Michael and asked if he could please ask his youngest sister out. He said ‘yes’ :) Jim’s and Mary’s first date was Jim joining up for one of Mary’s favorite pastimes: trapezing on the Santa Monica pier. Jim was amazed at how athletic, strong, and talented Mary was and Mary was impressed at how Jim never gave up and continued to have such a positive attitude even though it wasn’t his strong suit. An hour later after Mary did a dozen flips and Jim forced his very arthritic hips over the bar for an accomplished knee hang, they walked along and Jim told Mary how much he liked spending time with her (and still does!). Mary said the same and they shared french fries as they talked openly about how much they like each other, how Santa Barbara / Santa Monica is not that far a distance, how many more escape rooms they could do, and (very significantly) that Michael was already in full support. They both left the scene floating on clouds: Mary calling her sisters to tell them it really was a date and Jim forgetting the leftover french fries in the parking garage.

Less than a year later, Mary moved up to Santa Barbara and moved in with one of her best friends, Erin. Jim and Mary lived less than two miles apart as Mary started to adapt to the best city in America. A year after her move to Santa Barbara, Mary moved into Jim’s condo and the two of them (alongside Boost, the fox red Labrador) explored what a family could feel like together. Mary would consistently ask, ‘I am Boost’s mom though, right?’ to which Jim would reply ‘no (not yet)… you’re his dad’s girlfriend!’ So, it was extra special on November 16th, 2024, when Boost, donning a Christmas bandana with the words ‘I want you to be my mom,’ trotted over to Mary to initiate the proposal. Most escape rooms challenge you to solve puzzles and work together to get out as quickly as possible. But for Mary and Jim, the real adventure is the opposite — doing everything they can to stay in the room together, forever. Jim and Mary feel ecstatic and excited to be on the path they are on today. They are grateful to their families for the opportunities they provided and the values they instilled, to Michael for trusting his best friend to ask out his sister, and to God for bringing them together time and time again. Thank you for being a part of our love story and it is our true hope you join us on our special day. Lots of love, Mary and Jim