Jacob & Kylee
Wedding Party
Mandee Stevens
Maid of Honor
Have you heard of the most magical place on earth? Hottest vacation spot east of the Mississippi. That's right ladies and gents... Clevland, Ohio. Mandee has been a judge of fine travel and dining for years. From Texas to Florida Mandee likes to rock and roll with the night owls and early birds... sometimes those permanently exhausted pigeons make their way into the show as well. Mandee has a mind like a steel trap and a roundhouse that could knock down a horse. Be ready for a lot of laughs and a lot of love.
Lyndee Stevens
Maid of Honor
Big Foot, The Loch Ness Monster, El Chupacabra, Elvis Presley and Lyndee. These are all rare and beautiful creatures. Are you going to find her in the woods hunting a doe with her Bear Hands, are you going to find her running through a glade covered in the wings of butterflies she just passed through, or maybe she will be swimming in a sub-arctic stream catching fish with a spear she fashioned from the horn of a narwhal. You never know where Lyndee is going to show or what kind of awesome shenanigans she will be in. Ask Lyndee about her two true loves. Chicken.... and her cat, Alaska. The feline tub of loveable feline flub. She will be glad to oblige.
Ashley Krug
Bridesmaid
Krug the Thug is a mountain magnificent mysterious machinations. She is more downright radical than a large-sized orange mask wearing turtle. But the question you have to ask yourself is do you think you are tough enough to stand up to my HOT NUNCHUCK FURY?! Probs not. That's cool though. Few people are game for such a turtletastic roundhouse of fun and excitement. Get ready for lessons in the art of zen and feng shui as Ashley comes to bring party to maximum overdrive. BOOYAKASHA!!!!!
Chris Hoskins
Best Man
Working 9 to 5 aint easy, but when you are a mustachioed muscled maniac with a heart of gold and liver with a license to kill this man sets the bar lower than a limbo king during marti gras. Chris is a high school genius with an I.Q. most often seen on ACT test scores but that doesnt stop him from getting down on the dance floor. If you think that is a cat in his pocket you are probably right. Locke and company will stay on to melt your hearts and if they have their way flare up your allergies.
Zach Thomas
Groomsman
Have you heard of Lovecraftian horror? Call of Cthulu? King in Yellow? This man has a mind more twisted than a gug on last christmas's eggnog. Always quick with a joke or to light up your smoke this Billy Joel connoisseur is ready to rock his sweet child to sleep under the cold heartless stars. Little Nolan is his dad's pride and joy. More Preciousssss to Zach than the one Ring to Smeagol this little guy is ready to steal the show.... and your hearts... and possibly your wallet.
Seth Miller
Groomsman
Born in a log cabin in the Canadian wilderness. This robot who never learned to cry worked his way into all our hearts with his fly sense of style and unforeseen mastery of knock-knock fart jokes. Prime minister of the Canadian Maple Syrup Reserve and frontrunner for the Ms. Canadian Bacon Beauty Pagent. This Ham of a man is ready to slide in on those grease covered hooves and whisk you away to a night you'll never forget.
Keri Stevens
Mother of the Bride
The following is an approved summary of a much-loved woman. "My Mother is absolutely wonderful and drives like a maniac." - Kylee
Gary Hoskins
Father of the Groom
As D-Day approaches, Colonel Breed hands the roguish Major Reisman (Lee Marvin) an important assignment: He must train a team of soldiers to parachute across enemy lines and assassinate German personnel at a French chateau. The soldiers, recruited from murderers, rapists and criminals on death row, are promised commuted sentences. In spite of their history, the 12 men prove a spirited and courageous unit. Led by Major Reisman, they will exact revenge. -The Dirty Dozen
Ann Hoskins
Mother of the Groom
The following is an approved summary of this lovely and wonderful woman. "You can talk about my adventurous nature." - Ann Hoskins