What To Expect
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Never been to a traditional Jewish wedding and wondering what to expect?
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Or maybe it's been a while and you could use a refresher? Don't worry! We've got you covered. Please read on for an overview. But don't get bogged down by the details. The main thing is to bring your energy and increase the joy of the happy couple. We are so excited that you will be joining us!
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Part 1: The Tisch & Kiseh Kala
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When you arrive, the bride and groom will be hosting a reception (called a "tisch") with yummy hors d'oeuvres to enjoy. Here, the bride and groom will sign a Halachic prenup, a document ensuring that both the bride and groom remain in religious marriage by choice. The bride and groom will then sign the legal marriage document. The bride will speak, and then make her entrance into the main reception area where her "kiseh kala" is located. She will be accompanied by music and friends, and guests will come to greet her once she is seated at "kiseh kala." Meanwhile, the groom will remain at the "tisch" to sign the religious marriage document (the "ketubah"), sing with his friends, and share more words of Torah.
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Part 2: The Bedeken
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After the groom signs the "ketubah," guests will erupt in song and dance and escort the groom to the "kiseh kala." Here, the bride and groom share a special moment. Surrounded by singing guests, the groom approaches the bride and places the veil over her face. This tradition signifies that the bride and groom's love is not based on external beauty but rather from the internal beauty they recognize in each other.
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Part 3: The Chupah
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This is the wedding ceremony, which will occur under a canopy that symbolizes the Jewish home that the bride and groom will build together. The groom will walk down the aisle first and the bride will walk down the aisle last, with guests rising and facing her as she enters. Under the "chupah," the bride will circle the groom seven times, alluding to the seven days of creation and symbolizing the creation of a sacred space for their new marital relationship. The "ketubah" will be read, rings will be exchanged, and seven blessings will be recited in honor of the newlyweds. Then the groom will break a glass, a symbol of the destruction of our holy Temple, the pain of exile, and a reminder that even on our most joyous day, the world is still incomplete.
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Part 4: Yichud
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After the "chupah" ceremony, the bride and groom will be escorted to a private room for a short time. During this time, guests are invited to make their way to the banquet center, schmooze, grab a drink, perhaps begin the salad course. But don't get too comfortable! Soon, the bride and groom will make their entrance into the banquet center...
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Part 5: The Hora
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The bride and groom will run into the banquet center and be swept up by their guests in song and dance. The women will dance around the bride and the men will dance around the groom. Bring your energy! The purpose of the hora is "le'same'ach chatan ve'kalah," which means to make the bride and groom happy. People will take turns dancing in the innermost circle with the bride or groom, and at a certain point the bride and groom will be lifted up on chairs. Once placed back on the ground, the bride and groom and their parents will sit in a row while guests take turns performing in front of them in an effort to make them laugh and smile. Often people bring props for this part, like jump ropes or simple costumes. This is followed by more circle dancing until we're all tired. Then we eat!
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Part 6: Dinner & Dance Party
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Dinner is followed by more dancing, this time to a mix of American and Israeli pop songs. Don't worry, there will be dessert too. We will also play a few simple Israeli folk dances and encourage you to follow along! At the conclusion of the event, we will say the blessing after the meal and recite the seven blessings in honor of the marriage again. And that's it! Let us know if you have any questions. And get excited! We truly cannot wait to celebrate with you!
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Bonus points! Here are some traditional Jewish songs that people will be singing if you want to give it a listen!
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Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MKj3B-5FloJ8pD8MQ3t2gGo_7UI_el0a/view?usp=sharing Transliteration: Mehera Hashem Elokeinu yishama be'arei Yehudah u'vchutzot Yerushalayim, Kol sason v'kol simcha, kol chatan v'kol kalah. Od yishama b'arei Yehudah u'vechutzot Yerushalayim Kol sason v'kol simchah, kol chatan v'kol kalah. Yasis alayich Elohayich, kimsos chatan al kalah. Asher bara sason v'simcha, chatan v'kalah. Gilah, rina, ditza v'chedvah, Ahavah v'achavah, v'shalom v'reut.