We met on Hinge, yolo. Okokok FINE mom I'll do a real story. It was a warm May evening, the air fresh with the winds of change. A beautiful, brilliant, dare I say DAZZLING young woman opened her phone to delete the worst app she had ever downloaded in her life, an app that plagued her existence for a full five days, a dreadful 120 hours, 7 shy of making her cut off her arm. She opened the app and found an inbox full of suitors, each more horrifying than the next. But then, just as she was about to declare herself irretrievably celibate, she saw a message from a boy with a particularly substantial mustache. Was it... Burt Reynolds? It can't be! Tom Selleck, perhaps? Preposterous! He might be just as elderly, but this isn't Raya for goodness' sake. Her curiosity piqued, the (dazzling) woman knew she needed to see this mustachioed Adonis in person. She responded to his (absolutely confidential) message and the rest, as they say, is history.