FAQs

Question

Is there parking for this party?

Answer

Yes. Tons. Bring as many cars as your heart desires.

Question

Help, I've got a baby.

Answer

We gotcha covered. There is a quite, private area with fridge/microwave/comfy nursing couch all available.

Question

Help, I have kids.

Answer

Yes, they are invited. Unless you don't want to. Then don't!

Question

So you're actually married?

Answer

Yes, legally bound until death.

Question

Will there be dancing?

Answer

Most definitely. Might be why Lizzie's family has been exiled from the Amish community.

Question

Will there be a ceremony?

Answer

Nope. We already said "I do".

Question

Is there a dress code?

Answer

Nobody is getting kicked out but preferably cocktail style. Just google it and match those vibes. Also, anything western (cowboy boots, hats, bolo ties, etc.) are encouraged.

Question

Speaking of vibes, how are they?

Answer

Pretty chill.

Question

What if I don't feel like coming?

Answer

Your loss. Next question.

Question

Is Sam actually in the military?

Answer

I've thought about this one a lot. Honestly, could all be a ruse. What if he just had this elaborate scheme with some of his buddies and he's just evading taxes and shooting guns in the woods for funsies?!

Question

What was the point of this page?

Answer

For me to enjoy being an unsupervised adult. Thank you for reading.

Question

Question for you:

Answer

Are you still reading? Ok cool, why? This is clearly spiraling out of control.