A Tale As Old As Time...

Tiffany: "You can start. Don't make it weird!" Jacob: "It's an epic tale filled with Captain America lore... Tiffany: "Hopeless romanticism..." Jacob: "...and cheese sticks. Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story: The story of how I met your mother." Tiffany: "Annnd...you made it weird." Jacob: "I was scrolling through Bumble one day when I came across the profile of this geeky, nerdy looking woman, wearing glittery Mickey Mouse ears with the tagline "I'm your Huckleberry". "Oh snap? She likes Tombstone, the greatest western ever made?" So I swiped right and didn't think much of it at the time." Tiffany: "I saw the profile of an extremely jolly looking man who reminded me of Steve Rogers and Santa...I was intrigued." Jacob: "Tiffany asked who my favorite Marvel character is and of course I responded with Steve Rogers and Captain America, only it's me, so I sent a whole thesis on why I loved them, which apparently caught her attention." Tiffany: "I was further intrigued." Jacob: "So those messages eventually turned into late-night texts, phone calls and discussions about life, whiskey, comics, and our eventual first date. I knew after about 72 hours that this girl was the one for me, so I went for it. We planned our date for that upcoming Sunday. Now I will admit, 72 hours? That's a short amount of time. Either I had found my future wife, or I was about to become the victim in a very elaborate scam. She was checking every single box I had, and believe me, I had a list. What I didn't know at the time was that Tiffany is extremely introverted and she almost didn't go on our first date. In fact, in true Tiffany fashion, she was so convinced that I couldn't possibly be real that she almost cancelled. I showed up wearing my white button-up shirt and khakis ready to take her to axe throwing, which was, in her words, "White people sh*t". Tiffany: "It was." Jacob: "I was struck by her beauty. She wore a Marvel Avengers shirt, had cute glasses and her hair done. She was ready, but I could sense some reluctance as she walked down the stairs. We made it to the axe throwing, and I could tell immediately that I should probably be careful around her, I had just took her to a place where she learned a very valuable skill. I had planned to take her to the meadery and get pizza, but pizza was extremely busy...so in normal Tiffany fashion, she looked at me dead in the windows to my soul and said, "I want cheese sticks from IHOP," ...and she in fact got cheese sticks. She even offered to pay for the meal and then did the whole, "Oh no! I forgot my debit card at home!" Which at the time, I thought was just her way of testing me to make sure I'd pay...but as it turns out, Tiffany constantly misplaces her debit card. So it was legit. Tiffany: "Life comes at you fast!" Jacob: "The rest of the date felt easy. We sat in the IHOP parking lot talking about past relationships, philosophy and life. I was a little taken aback at how forward she was, especially when asking about my exes, but I thought "Screw it. If she stays after this, then there's hope for us yet." Eventually, though, we had to go home but I didn't want the night to end. Neither of us were particularly happy about that, so I took her back to her apartment and walked her to her door. *Cue dramatic rain and music* Suddenly, every romantic comedy I had ever seen seemed a lot less ridiculous. After all, I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love me. But I did it. I went in for the goodnight kiss. She giggled and went inside, and then I jauntily skipped down the stairs while singing in the rain. Looking back, that was probably the moment I should have known, not that she was the one. That part was obvious. But I had somehow become the type of man who skipped down the stairs after a goodnight kiss. There was no coming back from that. Tiffany: "Awww...that was so cute! Hehehe!" Jacob: "And that, kids, is how I met your mother."