Do we look like a joke to you? My brother/sister, e go choke. Jollof that can solve problems. Swallow that can reset destiny. But behave yourself—don’t pack takeaway before the couple even kiss.
If you’re thinking jeans and T-shirt, please log out of this website immediately. It's owambe, not block party. Dress to oppress. Slay or stay away. Traditional or formal—just don’t outshine the bride unless you're ready for ancestral consequences.
If you didn’t RSVP with "Mr/Miss/Mrs Somebody," please don’t show up with “Surprise Guest.” This is not Big Brother Naija. If we didn’t budget for them, they’ll eat from the parking lot.
Officially? 1PM. But this is a Nigerian wedding, so expect it to start getting serious around 2:30PM. However, if you show up late, and miss small chops, that's your personal problem.
Just move your shoulders and smile. If the spirit leads, join the bride’s friends and form circle. But if you injure yourself doing legwork, we are not responsible.
Yes, if they have RSVP'd but no crying competition please. We love your children, but if they start screaming during vows, we will hand them the mic and ask them to explain themselves.
Welcome, dear. Get ready for vibrant colours, dramatic aunties, exaggerated greetings, and party like you've never partied before. Just follow the music, and when in doubt, shout “Wa jeun o!” with confidence.