Wedding Party
Bailey Rothe
Maid of Honor
The best big sister to ever big sister. I'm so lucky to have Bailey for a best friend who can never get rid of me! If you think anything about my personality is original, I have to confess that every interest is ctrl+c, ctrl+v from her - including Pride and Prejudice, Stardew Valley (originally Harvest Moon), and dachshunds just to name a few. Thankfully, she doesn't hold that personality plagiarism against me and we get to enjoy it all together! ...unless this was a psyop to engineer my pliable little sister personality to best entertain her? If so, well done Bailey. Having a blast. Taylor Swift Era: Red
Gabriel Garbarino
Best Man
The best spartan to have behind your warthog's gauss cannon. Halo, euchre, track, ultimate frisbee, spikeball, any drinking game—Gabe and Paul are the unstoppable duo. I have proudly served as Gabe's verbal punching bag for the past 26 years. Think you can get away with insulting Gabe? He'll instantly clap back with the wittiest, most crushing quip. "Are you in jail?" — Gabe commenting on my first DC apt. They say we're on the cusp of quantum computing, but believe me, Gabe's already doing it with his fantasy teams (if you're in a league with him, you will lose your money). I most appreciate Gave for how he tolerates being my board game and movie guinea pig—I'll talk No Country for Old Men at 1am with you anytime bro <3.
Mercedes Carvajal
Bridesmaid
Meet the best thing to come out of 2016. Mercedes and I have been friends for almost a decade through a few acts of divine intervention: early college programs, terrible former roommates, and the military and prison industrial complexes. The only things stronger than the invisible string holding us together are our obliques, thank you [solidcore]. I would never know the joy of solo, main-character Amtrak rides if it wasn't for our weekends in Baltimore. Thank you for making me a more well-rounded person, in heart and public transit. Taylor Swift Era: Midnights
Ray Berling
Groomsman
The world is just wide enough for Burr-ling and me. Believe it or not, I wasn't immediately a Hamilton fan, but Ray convinced me to raise a glass to freedom. And from there, I had the honor of being his obedient servant. "Who's this guy?" — my first words to Ray almost got me kicked off the team. Little did I know that day Ray and I would go on to become mortal enemies. I knew I loved this history nerd after he pulled an Andrew Jackson (forcibly removed the other Catan players from their land). I can hardly express how much I appreciate Ray's brazen comedy and clothing scarcity, making every setting more enjoyable. When the Detroiter and the Cincinnatian (who can't run five miles) emerge with a compromise (copious amounts of Rolling Rock and Twisted Tea and a plan to save Ohio from itself), they'll tell the story of tonight.
Sara Lucchese
Bridesmaid
A human golden retriever (female version), Sara is my sunshine. We met in college and decided to live our 20s to the fullest by moving in with each other after graduation and having fabulous adventures! *enter the pandemic* While the world was ending, she generously let me adopt my pride and joy, Lizzie, who proceeded to love Sara more than me (as she should). Despite moving away five years ago *weeps,* we've grown closer from bi-weekly life updates and new outfit consultations. Only a girl with a heart as big as hers could prove the long distance naysayers wrong! Taylor Swift Era: Lover
Jon Wenning
Groomsman
A human golden retriever (male version). Steve Irwin reincarnate. THE Florida man. Hummer of a runner (which explains the iron deficiency). Salt to my pepper. Drago to my Rocky. The Elvis to my Elvis. Jon Wenning is a man of many titles and known for many more things. But, my favorite of all, is that he was my BG roommate from beginning to end. Jon always had my back—when Noah and Zane took all my stuff for hiding Madden, who graciously told me my piranha was behind the toilet? Jon. Who was always ready to bang as Calamity Janet? Jon. Who pulled an all-nighter with me every time a paper was due in honors writing? Jon. And nothing better captures our love and friendship better than the first conversation we ever had as roommates: "have you seen Whiplash?" Taylor Swift Era: Fearless
Sydney Schmidt
Bridesmaid
Enemies to lovers, Sydney replaced me when I left my job in Detroit. My old work friends LOVED her, people said she even looked just like me, and I hated that! Unfortunately, I met her and loved her so much that I had to convince her to move to DC with me. We speed-ran a friendship for a year and a half and it was some of the most fun I've ever had. We even went to the Eras Tour together, so I had to have her by my side for this second-most important day of my life. If you see us together, please ask us if we're sisters. It's our favorite party trick. Taylor Swift Era: Reputation
Kohl Taberner
Groomsman
While I was writing like I was running out of time, I was also Kohl's right-hand man. Ya know, if he could, Kohl would change a lot of things about me. The whistling, the board games, the whistling again. Nevertheless, this finely-bearded and well-mustached man didn't use his boxing skills to beat me up (and he almost did when I made him a PB&J with the end slice of the bread loaf). Instead, we made an unmatched, drunken intellectual life out of BG and DC. Talkin politics and history like we're Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn over a 2-liter boot of German water never gets old. He just needs to come home and go back to planting tobacco in Mt Vernon.
Alex Vidro
Bridesmaid
If there's a problem, I'm calling Alex. When Alex and I enter the room, we discover treasure, uncover secrets, sway our enemies, or just slay them if it's easier. ...is this all within the context of fictional Dungeons and Dragons worlds? Well I just don't see what that has to do with this. I'm so happy to share this adventure with Alex, a true nat 20, and will be begging her to assist on my performance rolls throughout the evening. I will also continue begging her to move to DC with me so if any DCers are reading this... note your mission on wedding day. Though I no longer need Alex to rescue me at 2 PM on Fridays (I owe her my life), there are many board game bars that would be fuller with her attendance. Taylor Swift Era: Evermore
Aaron Greb
Groomsman
Bruschetta, bruschetta, bruschetta? Right out the womb we were playing Battlefront and Halo together. While I always insisted on playing as the rebels on Hoth... the empire wins that battle. This guy had me run the Romeo Peach Festival, and that's pretty much what sent me on the path to running in college (thanks I guess?). A-Aron is Macomb County's most coveted graphic designer, and is a real Detroiter. Like, he actually lives in Detroit. He's not fake like the rest of Southeast Mich. I'd go with Aaron to the end, into the very fires of Mordor.
Serafina Di Benedetto
Bridesmaid
Another princess rescued from the tower (26th floor of the federal building in Detroit) and brought to DC, I am enchanted to know Serafina. Our most commonly used phrase is "twist my arm," applying to Anthro trips, wine tastings, pool days, and yaps. She is a certified Caroline Bingley hater and boiled potato lover - such exemplary vegetables. This one has attended the Eras Tour with me twice so is she my favorite? The Ticketmaster record says yes. Taylor Swift Era: Speak Now
Tyler Engler
Groomsman
I knew I'd like this guy when he was trying to be Nicholas Cage, running alongside the White House (whether he had the Declaration of Independence will be left undisclosed). Also known as the Dog Whisperer, Tyler is the best guy to have around when you're trying to have a good time at a school filled with huge nerds. We even had the Belgian princess pull up to one of our parties, and we offered shots to the Belgian secret service hanging outside. One of Tyler's most unmistakable qualities is selflessness—guy barely expressed any concern for his health and recovery after getting clocked in the back of the head. He will come in clutch and do your laundry for you, you just have to pay his standard rate of one game of Wingspan. He is a certified wormrider, adeptly (and obsessively) grabbing all the spice. May thy knife chip and shatter.
Kelsey DeRidder
Bridesmaid
Yes we do have another Detroit -> DC pipeline member and yes I am just using this section to brag about my deep state recruitment track record. What I think is most important to know about Kelsey is that we have matching Jimmy Buffett crocs and Shrek headbands. She is everything I love, literally from her head to her toes, and I can always count on her to appreciate what makes life worth living - bits, knickknacks, Hozier concerts, and farming. On that last note, ask her about the menty b I had when the girls didn’t follow my season/resource type color coded chest storage system on Clamdigger Farm. I am grateful for her endless patience with my Virgoisms. Taylor Swift Era: Debut
Josh Patashnik
Groomsman
This cute nerd created two board games. While neither are published yet... he's still the best board-gamer. He knows how to accomplish conservation projects, obtain court influence, garner favor from the gods, and just really shuffle around your cards and pieces. And he's not playing baby games like Catan; he played a round of Solitaire, decided it was too easy, and made a more complex version to make you cry (but no lie tho his version is good fun). Josh and I met the same way all DC people do—desperate, outdoorsy social outings. In this case: ultimate frisbee. We're both washed at disc now, so we just talk games...for those who come after.
Jacqueline Askin
Bridesmaid
The whole reason I'm here is to hang out with Jacqueline more, which Paul being Gabe's brother grants me access to. There's just something about women with last names that start with "A" that makes them so charming and captivating! Jacqueline has treated me like a sister from day one and I am so thankful for all the fun we've had together. Taylor Swift Era: 1989
Hannah Cubberley
Groomswoman
After we won Campus Quarters' euchre tournament together, I felt like we finally got our degrees from BG. Hannah's inimitable, an original, and the (May) Queen of Bowling Green—she made Frida Falcon look like a bandwagon fan compared to how she was running the University and Brathaus. As her speaker of the senate, we did literally everything together, and we continue to do so in the nation's capital. Hannah actually made DC frisbee fun (unlike Nate). And we're those sicko A24 members going to see the weird indie movie at E Street every other week (we saw Everything Everywhere All at Once before it was cool). If you're a toxic dude in Sweden, ya best be ready to stop, drop, and roll.