We met in July of 2018 through Tinder, the cyber wasteland where romance goes to die. Well, not this time. A month later, we had our first date. Ernie picked me up at my house—close to it, not at my house there because he was still a stranger and, you know, safety. When he got out of the car to open my door, I noticed we both, spontaneously, wore burgundy. Very cute. He surprised me with a red rose and we headed over to Santa Monica Pier for what promised to be a great time. On the way there, the conversation flowed effortlessly. Perhaps trying to prolong that easy feeling, Ernie remarked “See? You thought it was gonna be awkward but it’s like we already know each other”. To that, I said, “Yes, you would think I’d have been more scared about you being a serial killer or something.” Without missing a beat, Ernie locked all the car doors, looked at me intensely, and said, “I might still be”. I knew I liked him then. I am happy to say our morbid ability to laugh at everything still binds us today. Ernie’s initial plan was to eat some funnel cake, play arcades, and walk around the pier. Typical first date stuff. Once again, very cute. But IT WAS HOT, infernally so. The place was congested with tourists, each visibly clammy and releasing heat. But none was worse than this sweaty foreigner. I don’t do well in the heat. I told Ernie we needed to get out of there and head to the ocean where there was air, space, and a chance to cool off. He seemed concerned about me—I was basically a sentient puddle by that point—so to the beach we went! That day, we spoke for hours. We laughed. We were very honest about our lives, our flaws, and what we wanted in a relationship, what we wanted in life. He told me he drunkenly fought with a tree once and I shared with him why I hate Brendan Fraser’s films. I know, he is America’s sweetheart. I am sorry. Since that first encounter, we’ve shared many more afternoons like this. We became best friends. We have built a beautiful life together with our cats. Our love has grown every day and now we are ready to take another step in our road together. A big step. Please join us!