FAQs

Question

What is a Bat Mitzvah?

Answer

Bat Mitzvah literally translated is "daughter of the commandments". The celebration of a Bat Mitzvah signifies that the young woman will begin to function as an active and responsible Jew in the synagogue and in the wider Jewish community. Some consider this a "coming of age" celebration, as exists in many different cultures/religions.

Question

What does the Bat Mitzvah child have to do?

Answer

The bat mitzvah child will participate in the Shabbat service in ways appropriate to the congregation’s customs. The bat mitzvah may do some or all of the following: lead prayers, read (often chanting) from the Torah and/or Haftarah, deliver a dvar Torah — a speech about the Torah portion read that day.

Question

What is expected of synagogue service attendees?

Answer

1. Dress - Adult guests & teens at a bat mitzvah celebration generally wear dress clothes — for men, either a suit or slacks, tie, and jacket, and for women, a dress or formal pantsuit. Younger kids usually wear a dress or dress pants and shirts with a collar. 2. Arrival time: The official start time for the weekly Shabbat, or Sabbath, service is 10am. Please try to arrive at the beginning, as Elaine will receive her tallit at the beginning of the service. While in many congregations it is customary to arrive significantly later, the service at CBE is short and most attend the entire service. 3. Kippah, or yarmulke: A kippah (KEEP-ah) or head covering (called a yarmulke in Yiddish), is traditionally worn by males during the service and also by women in more liberal synagogues like ours. Wearing a kippah is not a symbol of religious identification, but is rather an act of respect to God and the sacredness of the worship space. There is a basket of kippahs (also called kippot) at the entry to the sanctuary, and Elaine will have custom-made kippahs that men or women can wear and keep as a memento. 4. Prayer shawl: The tallit (tall-EET or TALL-is), or prayer shawl, is traditionally worn by Jewish males and, in liberal congregations like ours, by Jewish women as well. Because the braided fringes at the four corners of the tallit remind its wearer to observe the commandments of Judaism, wearing a tallit is reserved for Jews. 5. Maintaining sanctity: Please respect the sanctity of the prayer service and Shabbat by: Setting your cell phone or beeper to vibrate or turning it off. Not smoking in the sanctuary, inside the building, or even on the synagogue grounds. Not writing. Not speaking during services. While you may see others around you chatting quietly–or even loudly–keep the focus on the service, not side conversations. Standing and sitting when directed by the Rabbi. Following along in the prayer book & chumash (Torah/bible).

Question

What happens after the service?

Answer

Shabbat morning services are usually followed by a kiddush, or light meal, in the synagogue’s social hall, The kiddush gets its name from the blessing over wine that is recited just before the meal. Elaine's bat mitzvah guests are also invited to a separate party later that evening. Her party will take place in a an event hall and will include a meal and dancing, during which the bar/bat mitzvah child is sometimes raised on a chair. A popular feature at bar/bat mitzvah parties is the candle-lighting ceremony, in which the bar/bat mitzvah child lights a series of candles, choosing to honor different friends and family members with each candle.

Question

What about gifts?

Answer

It is customary for invited guests to give a gift to the bar/bat mitzvah celebrant. Presents are best delivered at the party or reception, rather than at the synagogue service. Most parties feature a gift table or other place designated for gifts. For gift guides, see: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/bar-or-bat-mitzvah-gift-guide/