Four score and seven friend dates ago… Two dumb 18-year-olds who were too shy to admit they like liked each other went out on a kayak for a whole afternoon. They got hella sunburned, went home, and then moved away for college. The End. …Or was it? Pt. II: 50 Shades of Friend Zone After a series of Skype calls, texts, coffee meetups, and strictly platonic road trips, these two high-school totally-not-crushes were… still too shy to admit they liked each other. But God works in mysterious ways. He brought about a series of layoffs, an unexpected move back to Colorado, and even a global pandemic. This time, the signs were clear, and Caroline and Andrew went out… on another friend date. A less benevolent God might have smote them both or struck them down with lightning at this point. But He gave them one more chance, and in August 2020 Andrew asked Caroline on a more-than-friends date. She said no. But she was joking. (I think.) Both of their respective friend groups (and families - you were right Jan) breathed a collective sigh of relief. The couple proceeded to date for the next four years, until Andrew delivered on his promise to totally surprise Caroline with a ring. (Spoiler alert: she said “yes.”) They have now been engaged for two years and plan to spend the rest of their golden years together, as Andrew believes a second wife is neither economically feasible nor culturally appropriate. (Caroline would prefer Andrew stops telling this joke.)