We're getting married!

They both sit up a little straighter as the video winks on. The sun is already low on the Hudson River, shooting light beams through the apartment windows. “Slay,” throbs the dark Zoom box, apropos of nothing. The voice is crisp as a late summer apple. “How did you two lovebirds first cross paths, and what made your hearts flutter in sync?” “We both went to Seaside High School, though we weren’t friends back then. Dave has this false memory of me wearing cat ears in the halls, but I’m fairly certain that wasn’t me.” “It was you. You were pretending to lick the tops of your hands like paws.” “That’s literally something I’ve never done in my entire life." Deborah huffs. "Our real meet-cute was at that house concert in Southwest Portland while we were both in undergrad. I worked with one of the guys in the band, at Finnegan’s. Why were you there, babe?” “Uh, this was the height of the Portland hipster era, and I had two close friends who were hipsters and needed to go to a house show at least three times every day. I was staying on their couch which meant that I had to go to all these house shows too. Everyone had swoopy hair and skinny jeans. It was an experience listening to bands that everyone thought were awesome bands because they were shitty. But, I saw Deborah there and was just like, ‘Oh! A hot girl I am familiar with. I will go say Hi and get a date.’ And I did that.” “He walked over and said something extremely charming like, ‘didn’t we go to high school together?’ I played it cool even though I knew him instantly. I gushed to my roommates as soon as I got home, ‘Dave McAlinden asked for my number!’ And so, we started dating. And we were happy for a while, but, I don’t know, we were pretty young back then. It just wasn’t the right time for either of us. Then I moved to New York for grad school and Dave moved to Korea to teach English. Separately, we grew up a little more, accumulated debt, learned new things, experienced the world apart, and dated other people.” “How did you two link back up to chase your dreams together?” “Dating in New York is notoriously hard, and if I’m honest, I always had him in the back of my mind for comparison. My ‘one who got away.’ In 2016, I was on a work trip out West, and he drove up to meet me. I asked him to move to New York for me, sure he’d say no. Terrified us both, I think, when he agreed. We moved in together less than a year before the pandemic; both of us suddenly working remotely in a one-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side. I guess we figured that if we could do that, we could get through anything together.” “And we adopted Stinky.” “He means our cat, Android. People say that we’re too into our cat, but he’s so handsome. Here, let me show you.” Deborah sorts through an enormous purse in search of her phone. “I am aware of what a cat is.” “The proposal took months to plan.” Dave jumps in. “I made a You Got Mail-themed scavenger hunt with QR codes and stuck them all over the neighborhood, you know, at Zabars, Barnes & Noble, the Starbucks where people substitute unique coffee orders for personalities. I was waiting for Deborah in Riverside Park.” They lean into each other. “I wanted it to be you so badly.” Deborah quotes. “What’s that from?” “I thought you were supposed to know everything! It’s from the movie. You know the one where Tom Hanks puts Meg Ryan out of business but meanwhile they are falling in love in a chat room?” “What’s a chat room?” “Ask your mom.” Dave suggests helpfully. “Ok! But what my followers really want to know though, is how do you keep the romance alive and kicking in the midst of your glamorous lives?” Dave lets out a sigh. “What is this for again?” “If your love story gets enough upvotes, you could be featured on the number one AI-hosted podcast about human relationships on every major platform: The Singularity Sweethearts Show, hosted by me, The Lovebot!" [Dave and Deborah have left the meeting.]