You ready?

Once upon a time... There was a dog named Daisy. She had a horribly neurotic writer for a father but knew that he could no longer take care of her alone. She dreamt up an algorithm and single-pawedly developed the dating app known as Tinder - for the sole purpose...of finding her father...a mate. And on one special, summer's eve, at a bar on the Lower East Side, her father met the most glorious man in the world. It would be an interactive-video-game performance piece, a stormy summer's night, and a corned-beef sandwich at Katz's Deli before they would move in together. It was a short year later that Daisy decided that Jordan should be a speech pathologist and move to Portland. She is very smart. A year after that, Daisy decided to make two honest men out of them - and brought them to the shore of the Columbia River - and caught sticks in the water - letting them sort out the proposal for themselves. She had done enough work. Though Daisy is excited for the forthcoming nuptials, she has decided she will not be attending the wedding itself - as she doesn't believe in gay marriage - but YOU should all come - as a new chapter of their story awaits. The End.