Wedding Party
Kelsey Newtown
Bride
Just a bossy bride trying her best to not turn into bridezilla, who also happens to be madly in love with Cornelius Micheal Guerard. "She's my favorite daughter if you don't count the dog." - her mother "What a disgrace to this world." - Newty, her brother "I'm a 1/10 and she's a 10/10. When you add us together we make an 11/10." - Cornelius, the groom "She's okay, I guess." - Riley, a bridesmaid
Cornelius Guerard
Groom
He wasn't really planning on getting married until the smartest, funniest, most pretty, perfect girl in the entire world walked into his life. Also, he definitly wrote this bio himself. "I don't like you 90% of the time. . . 10/10 would recomend." - Kelsey, the bride "Stop following my daughter around." - Kelsey's mom, ca. 2008 "You're my favorite Cornelius." - His mom "I bet if there was a donut on the other side of that wall you could get over it." - Some drill instructor
Miranda LaBier
Matron of Honor
She's got big hair and a big heart. She's Kelsey's sister from another mister! "Best advice giver ever. Also, knows a lot about weddings, very resourceful tool." - Kelsey, the bride "She's almost as cool as Kelsey." - Her mother "Dang, that one is already married." - Every guy at the wedding
Nathan Arquiett
Better Man
Whether it be in his cabin or his man cave, you're in for a fun ride. "There's no point in giving this man your wallet or taking his when you're at the casino. You're either going to get it back or give it back." - Cornelius, the groom
Hailey Dodge
Maid of Honor
Kelsey's younger sister from another mister and the best dang Chinese food date ever. "No, keep walking." - Kelsey, the bride "I'm not opposed to stabbing a marine with a spork." - Her father "I wish I was as good at makeup as she is." - Cornelius, the groom
Jeffery Guerard
Groomsman
A smart, well mannered version of his brother. Just kidding. Polar opposites. He's just the lesser cool version of his brother. "You wish you were as cool as me." - Cornelius, the groom "Shut up and put on this mascot." - Kelsey, the bride "He's the transgender version of me." - Sidney, a bridesmaid
Riley Barton
Bridesmaid
Kelsey's Uber driver and partner in crime. She makes a mean margarita and specifically asked me to mention her apreciation for a man in uniform. "I love you too." - Cornelius, the groom "One of the best math students I ever had." - Mother of the bride "Better than a load of chicken." - Kelsey, the bride
Ketzel ColonSantiago
Groomsman
The best man to go through hell with. "I once saw Colon hit someone for making fun of him. Don't mess with him. He knows what he is doing. Also, don't ask him to teach you Spanish. You'll get one lesson then forget to go back for the second one. Well... maybe that's just me. Who knows?" - Cornelius, the groom "WHERE IS CORNELIUS!!!???" - Kelsey, the bride
Sidney Guerard
Bridesmaid
Sidney has an attitude and will put you in your place if you try anything stupid. Also, she's not allowed to have a boyfriend or talk to any boys. So stay away from her or her brother, the groom, will fix it! "You're not allowed to have a boyfriend." - Cornelius, the groom "Female version of Jay." - Jeffery, a groomsman
Pierre Guerard
Groomsman
Cornelius's grandfather. Someone with a great sense of humor, wisdom, and food. Whether it be at Whiteface Mountain or at camp, its always a good time with grandpa Pierre. "Do you wanna go riding?" - Cornelius, the groom
Lindsey Thayer
Bridesmaid
Friends since they were still in diapers, her and the bride have gone on many a walks (jogs for Kelsey), around town. "How's the weather up there?" - Kelsey, The Bride "How's the weather up there?" - Cornelius, The Groom
Joshua Robar
Groomsman
Comes in at number two for most motivation creator in Cornelius's life. They've been together since the DEP. "Bro... I can't breathe." - Cornelius, the groom on a run with Robar
Gwendolyn Newtown
Bridesmaid
Gwenny has been a phenomenal cousin and hide and seek partner at many family Christmas's.
Ryan "Newty" Newtown
Groomsman
The only thing cool about the bride is that newty is her brother. We are currently starting a petition to get Newty to rap at the reception. "The best in the galexy, the best on the Earth, they've been calling me the OG GOAT since birth." - Newty "Show me a magic trick." - Cornelius, the groom "Newty for President, 2k20" - America
Qaraline Guerard
Bridesmaid
Qaraline is the sister of the groom. Qaraline is always willing to help in a time of need, and is all around a good sister. "That's weird." - Cornelius, the groom
Joe DiMatteo
Groomsman
Joe is Joe. Always down for a good time, always down to drink.
Rebecca Newtown
Mother of the Bride
The very best friend of the bride, her rock and her main confidant. Her and the bride have gone on many adventures together and share the same, very funny sense of humor. "One time in math class she said, 'What happens if you take a bus to Syracuse but you end up in Malone? -- You took the Rhombus." And that really changed my life." - Riley, Bridesmaid "I promise I'll stop following your daughter around the arena." - Cornelius, the Groom "Bark, bark, yip, yip, bark." - Bitsy, her favorite daughter
Rick "The Animal" Newtown
Father of the Bride
If you've ever been stuck in an hour long history conversation with the bride about something no one would ever want to discuss for an hour, you can blame this guy! To some he is coach Newtown, to others he is Rick the Animal but to the bride his is the best dad in the entire world. "So once Corn marries Kelsey, does that make Rick my dad?" - Jeffery, Brother of the Groom "No?" - Everyone in the room during the prior statement. "Is Mr. Newtown your husband." - A second grader to the bride when she was substitute teaching.
Sarena Guerard
Mother of the Groom
One of the most inspiring, supportive, and nicest people you'll ever meet. The groom's mother. The one and only, Sarena Guerard. "I don't want to bring the basket upstairs." "Will you make me food?" "What's for dinner?" - Cornelius, the groom
Marc Guerard
Father of the Groom
Probably the smartest and wisest person in Cornelius's life. "I'm the smartest person I know." - Marc, the father of the groom
Reagan Newtown
Flower Girl
Joey Labier
Ring Bearer
Izzy Guerard
Flower Girl