This is the story of how a Mormon girl and an ex-Mormon boy fell in love and decided to do the rest of life together. Scott Emory “Scott E Fresh” Parker claims he was not looking for anything serious when he downloaded every known dating app in the winter of 2023/2024. So when he came across the profile of LJ—a cute Mormon girl with fun pictures—he swiped (swope?) right. Meanwhile, Lauren Liverpool “LL Pool J” Johansson was looking for something fun and casual when she happened upon the profile of Scott—an ex-Mormon bald boy with a cute butt—and, in a moment of weakness, swope right. Thus began a series of cuddly, mischievous, non-committal hang outs. They told friends they were just “in cahoots.” Their divergent religious paths, they told themselves, all but guaranteed the casual, temporary nature of this spring fling. After all, what self respecting latter-day woman would choose to be with a heathen, and what principled non-believer guy would want a highly religious partner? MUSIC CUE: “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith MONTAGE — SALT LAKE CITY — SPRING — LAUREN & SCOTT BEING OBNOXIOUSLY CUTE, PRETENDING THEY’RE NOT FALLING IN LOVE —Taking selfie in front of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile —LJ feeds a baby goat standing on Scott’s back —Et cetra END MONTAGE In early summer, Lauren decided to put her energy into finding a partner with long term potential. Scott was more than a little bummed when she told him thanks for the great spring, but she would be moving along now. Two weeks later they were kicked out of a Taylor Swift dance party after being repeatedly caught making out in various off-limits areas at the venue. So they had a chat and decided to try dating! And it was summer, and everything was great. Until… Scott had a freak out. “What would we teach our hypothetical kids?” he fretted. “We don’t need to teach them anything, they’re hypothetical,” she replied. It took Scott five days to realize that LJ was right, he was jumping way ahead. And he realized some other things: That Lauren was the best, that he was in love, and that they might have a shot at something really special if they built their relationship on kindness, respect, service, authenticity, and always—always—going for the bit.