We’re getting married!

Except this coffee shop was a table with self-serve coffee before a Sunday church service. Jilian was hosting the coffee table where I poured my little cup of joe, and a simple "Hi, I'm Cayle.. Hi, I'm Jilian" exchange would turn out to be much larger than simple. But I strangely held onto that small moment without really trying. Weeks and weeks went by before the actual time I feel I really "saw" Jilian with my heart - to say I saw who she was, what she was for, and how she existed. After a November Sunday message I caught her serving the church putting chairs away, playing with the Pastor's boys, and soon after talking about San Diego Wave soccer and Denver Nuggets basketball. It was one thing to think she was beautiful before, but seeing her better beauty there was it for me. She was so focused, and I loved that. There on out I found every opportunity I could as an also "funemployed" San Diegan to wiggle my way into her day as a really good friend and nothing more (as much as I could help it, I was giddy). We shared in opportunities to serve, be with our church and friend community, and more. After enough of those added up, we found ourselves at a park, special to both of us individually, just a day before she would fly out to Colorado for a few weeks for Christmas. It was at that sandwich and sparkling water book-club picnic that she shared her feelings and I was exploding to share mine. I'd have ran circles in that park if it wasn't for trying to be somewhat composed. Fast forward to her flight landing in San Diego the first week of January that I picked her up, and it wasn't long after while building an Ikea dresser for her new place that I snuck our first kiss. This and a candle lit home-cooked dinner on January 8th would kick us off as a couple and it has been the most wonderful and blessed months of life to date. I can't wait to share our big day with everyone and a lifetime with this Jilian.

Cayle and I met at Light Church in Downtown San Diego. I was serving coffee behind the hospitality table when a very friendly man came up and said, “Hi, I’m Cayle,” with a big grin. I have come to realize that life is made up of moments—big and small—and I didn’t know at the time the significance of that simple hello. For the last two years, I’ve gone to a small group downtown every other Thursday night at Bobby and Glo’s house. If you know Bobby and Glo, you know that they show radical hospitality to whoever walks through their front door. They have a special gift of loving people and making space for people of all ages and backgrounds to come together and feel like family. I became friends with a woman named Leace through their group. Leace experienced homelessness, went through a program at the Rescue Mission, met Jesus, got housed, and joined a choir for individuals with lived experience of homelessness called Voices of Our City. Leace was a larger-than-life kind of person and loved the spaces in which she was part. She would always invite people from our Thursday group to watch her rehearsals at the choir. I was going through a job transition, which opened my Mondays up, so I decided to watch her sing in the choir. When I walked in, I saw that Cayle was sitting next to Leace and immediately realized that she hadn't invited me to watch her sing, but she invited me to sit in the front row of the choir and sing with her and the group. I saw Cayle, also amid a job transition, and said, “Oh my, am I about to sing next to this man I barely know? What have I got myself into.” The beauty and magic of Voices of Our City is something you have to experience to understand. It’s an eclectic bunch of folks, and I loved that Cayle wanted to be there. I saw his heart that day, his love for people, and his joy in not taking himself too seriously. I remember leaving that day feeling at ease in his presence. We continued to go back each Monday, and our friendship grew, and eventually, we fell in love! And now I work at the choir, which is a full circle moment! The picture at the bottom of this page is from that first day at the choir. Leace sadly passed away in early February of this year. I have a feeling she has a cheeky smile on her face, knowing we are about to get married. Maybe she had this planned all along! We miss her dearly and will save a space in honor of her at the wedding 🤍🐝