Gabe and I met in 2011, and it was the summer before our final year at Washington State University. I remember it vividly... I was moving into a new apartment complex with my two friends Marsha and Sage. As we were moving in all of our things and checking out the new place, Sage called me to the balcony of our second story apartment. Our entire deck and door had been egged! It looked nasty. The temperature in late August is usually above 100 degrees in Pullman, and I could have done without the smell. That evening I noticed a couple of guys from the apartment below ours had their patio door open. I knew that us girls needed to make it known that we were not going to put up with this, and there was a good chance that they did it. I shouted out to them and questioned them. Who would do this? It was our first day! They repeatedly stated that they played no part. Another guy came out onto his balcony, which was directly across from ours. I first was struck by how attractive he was, then quickly remembered I was mad and I ripped into him as well. I did not know his name so I referred to him as B204 (apt #). "B204, why would you throw eggs at our place?" He stared at me and said that it wasn't possible. "Because of the spot the egg hit the door, its angle must have come from the apartment above mine." Hesitating, I decided to believe him and went on with our day of moving. After cleaning up the eggy mess, my roommates and I quickly became friends with all the boys who lived in the apartment below ours, along with Gabe and his roommate in B204. 2 1/2 YEARS LATER... I am driving in the car to go shopping with Gabe's little sister Abby. "Hey Carlie, remember that time Gabe egged your apartment?" "WHAT????? Are you SERIOUS?!?!?" He kept it a secret ALLLLL that time. What a little prankster! XOXO

Carlie says that she remembers the day as if it were yesterday. I prefer to keep the details hazy in my mind. With events distorted by years, I can gloss and exaggerate things, allowing you guys to find this funny instead of destructive. You need some background and motivation for The Event. I lived in Cougar Crest Apartments during my second and third year at Washington State. When we moved in we became friends with the people living below us, and we had high hopes for the apartment adjacent to us. Unfortunately, it was full of angry men. We found ourselves next to three guys who detested music and friendship because it interrupted their video games. We initially tried to invite them to things or talk to them when we saw them, but they always responded with disinterest or contempt. They were party poopers, buzz killers, and wet blankets. They moved out that summer. I knew that we had new neighbors, but I did not meet them. Irrationally I assumed that the new tenants would take on the role of their predecessors. That same night I had some drinks. I was at a party and I had been imbibing plenty when I decided to head home. I arrived in the early morning, fumbled with the keys, got inside, and wrenched open the door to my fridge. I was immediately confronted by a carton of eggs, and I was pretty sure I bought them during the prior school year. That was my eureka moment.

I went out onto my balcony and pinched the first egg out of the carton, and then promptly dropped it on my foot. It felt like someone had sneezed between my toes. I rained egg on their balcony until I was out of eggs, and I stood there in silence feeling pleased with myself. I started to get cold and bored, so I hopped on one foot back to the kitchen and rinsed off the egg, then I went to sleep. The next day I was sitting on the couch playing video games when I heard the voice of an angel, shouting, "Hey man! You threw an egg at our door!" "Oh yeah! I egged their place last night!" I thought, feeling a little panicked. Somehow she knew that I threw the eggs. Then I heard someone reply to her, denying that they had done it. When I realized that she was blaming someone else I was a bit relieved. I went out on my balcony to see who the new neighbor was. She was tall, brown-haired, beautiful, and mad. "Hey, B204! Did you throw eggs at our apartment?" She asked me. She was very pretty, and I was thinking that she probably would not want to cultivate a friendship with me if she knew that I was the sort of guy who drunkenly slings food at things, so I denied it. Not only did I deny it, but I started talking about the angle the egg must have taken to leave splatter marks like that. "It could not have been me! Think about the trajectory from the balcony above mine. It must have been them." It seemed to work, and it was a great opportunity to start talking. Later, when talking to my sister on the phone, I off-handedly mentioned that I had egged my neighbor's apartment, and she was very nice. Over time I forgot about it, but my sister didn't. Years later, Carlie and Abby went shopping, and I got a text. "We need to talk."