Wedding Party
Carissa Palazzolo
Bride
(she/they) Makes art sometimes and tap dances at Kroger. Allergic to everything that matters, even Calli. "Is a group of ferns called an orgy? 'Cause there's a lot of fernication."
Calli Whaley
Bride
(she/her) Professional bartender and golden retriever. If the world is a stage, then she'd definitely be a stand-up comedian. "No. You can't go, you're not a junior in high school."
Rachel Dolezal
Maid of Honor
(she/her) Carissa's childhood best friend. Adult theatre kid. Bad at keeping surprises. "This is my 'Spiderman: No Way Home' moment."
Ginelle Keough
Maid of Honor
(she/her) Calli's older sister. Bar mom-ager. Has a cute-ass kid. "When you're good, you're good."
Cassidy Whaley
Maid of Honor
(she/her) Calli's younger sister. Spent long enough in physical therapy that they gave her a job. Keep away from gluten. "You are smart."
Nic Sturgill
Bridesman
(he/him) Carissa's oldest brother. First shift rooty-tooty-point-and-shooty maker, second shift fisherman. Unofficial spokesperson for Bass Pro Shops. "Sausage ends look like the not cute part of a butt."
Chad Sturgill
Bridesman
(he/him) Carissa's younger older brother. Wears bright colors and demolishes things for a living. Has horse dogs. "So... girls, amiright?"
Kory Keough
Bridesman
(he/him) Calli's brother. Does money stuff. (Investments?) Built a dope gym in his garage. Quite colorblind. "I’m interviewing for assistant goldfish delivery associate.”
Claire Guilford
Bridesmaid
(she/her) Professional cat mom, musical genius, and mom friend. Pesto's former foster mom. "He asked me when we were like 10 miles away from any kind of civilization. My kind of proposal."
Samm Keough
Bridesmaid
(she/her) Calli's sister-in-law and awesome mom to Calli’s nephew. Great at lifting heavy things and having the BEST party themes. White wine connoisseur. "Thank you for this wine that I’m about to chug.”
Hannah Periman
Bridesmaid
(she/her) Carissa's childhood friend and Dungeon Master. Makes insane and time consuming projects. Is intimidatingly smart. "My taste in men hasn't changed, only matured."
Sydney Crain
Bridesmaid
(she/her) Calli's high school best friend. Skyline chili slinger. Named her son after his zodiac sign. "What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle? One has strings and one has strangs.”
Tara Combs
Bridesmaid
(she/her) Carissa's fellow dance coach. Would look really good in some flare jeans. Has breakdanced in public before. "We're gonna chisel these bitches off."
Tyler Starrett
Bridesman
(he/him) Calli's bestest buddy. Could serve a full restaurant by himself like nobody's business. Tall man, tool bag. "Unequivocally f***ing bussin'." Rest in peace, our dear friend.
Lore Smith
Bridesman
(they/them) Carissa's long distance emotional support system. Certified cat parent. Their Pinterest is better than yours. "Your cat has a pride bandana, mine rips it off the wall and EATS IT."
Heather Sturgill
Bridesmaid
(she/her) The best one person crowd for Calli's jokes, Carissa’s sister-in-law, and biggest fan girl of this relationship. Expert in all things ADD and ADHD related. She’s not just some regular mom; she’s a cool mom. “And I bring glitter, which is craft herpes.”