Wedding Party

Caraline Morrow

Bride

Cool chick. Hear she’s getting married soon. Probably super bad at writing bios. Stats Hotness in wedding dress 10/10 Wedding planning proficiency 0/10 Likelihood of ruining her makeup by sobbing at the ceremony 1000/10

Brian Springer

Groom

Stats Love of ice cream and naps 10/10 Patience with Caraline during wedding planning 100/10 Patience with Winnie’s mole hunting 0/10

Carleigh Morrow

Maid of Honor

Rudely usurped Caraline’s youngest child position when she was 4, and has stolen her clothes ever since. Looks like she probably bites. Stats Anger 8/10 Science 10/10 Likelihood to throw hands over women’s health 100/10

Josh Rivas

Best Man

*Arnold Schwarzenegger voice* He has big muscles and enjoys frolicking in the wilderness. A beautiful butterfly.

Brianna Butler

Bridesmaid

Won the twin race by beating Brian out of the womb by a minute, and has established dominance ever since. Makes adorable blond cherub children. Stats Twin 1/2 Swim speed 10/10 Pun Proficiency 100/10

Katie Davies

Groomswoman

Cassie Anderson

Bridesmaid

Lightly bullied Caraline during childhood, but made it up to her during the teen years and adulthood with pastries and alcohol. Scarier than Carleigh but will probably cry. Stats Exclusive barbie tea parties 1/1 Dark humor 10/10 2000’s music knowledge 10/10

Anthony Eshelman

Groomsman

Looking for a break when playing games? Too bad, Anthony brings the hammer and no one is safe.

Anna Dean

Bridesmaid

Looks suspiciously like Caraline, but only if you just look at the hair and ignore absolutely everything else. Cannot correctly pronounce the word “wheelbarrow”. Stats Blue eye radiance 10/10 Soccer ball kicking skills 10/10 Soccer ball dodging skills 0/10

Bobby Eshelman

Groomsman

Hannah McAloon

Bridesmaid

Could probably out squat you, but would def throw one extra wall ball out of sheer spite. Genetically gifted in the hair department and we’re all jealous. Stats Competitive 9/10 Silly goose 10/10 Dimples 100/10

Justin McNeill

Groomsman

Amanda Hill

Bridesmaid

Will simultaneously throw up on a boat and point out the best fishing spot in the Atlantic. The REAL person Caraline moved to NC for. Stats Seasick resilience 4/10 Animal knowledge 10/10 Likelihood to trip 9/10

Tyler Daush

Groomsman

Ava Eshelman

Flower Girl

Knows more about Disney princesses than you. Can give a masterclass in pretty dress twirling. Stats Sugar 10/10 Spice 10/10 Everything nice 10/10

Liam Butler

Ring Bearer

Can do way more pool tricks than you. Known at the Orlando Zoo as a giraffe whisperer. Stats Ability to pull off pool goggles 10/10 Lettuce feeding technique 10/10 Spider-Man knowledge 10/10

Winnie

Goodest Girl

Probably would eat a turd and still manage to be the cutest girl in the room. Likes belly rubs. Stats Softness of Floof 9/10 Happiness 10/10 Moles killed in yard 5/5

Bear

Bestest Boy

Will lose all brain cells and sell his parents souls for a pool swim and a chuck-it throw. Don’t touch his paws. Stats Fetch proficiency (return not included) 10/10 Love for other boy dogs 2/10 Love for his dad 1000/10