We matched on the app Mutual on May 28th 2022, which Elizabeth didn't realize until August 14th when she sent her response. Cagney got the conversation going on September 1st when he responded. And from there, things started moving beautifully! It was a couple weeks of chatting before we got to a point of comfort with one another where we traded contacts. Beth lived in Utah at the time, and Cagney in Oregon. Our first call with one another was in early September, which was our first date as well, playing the videogame Stardew Valley together. We officially become a couple on September 16th. (That question alone was one that had the both of us redder than I think tomatoes are capable of getting). While it was a question asked over another game of Stardew Valley, it didn’t make it any less meaningful, and it didn’t make it any less of a valuable step to where we are now.

Christmas has never been a holiday that sat well with me, weighted more heavily with bad memories than good. I can remember Beth was adamant about me having the first definable good holiday season since finally coming to a point of my life where I was able to look at it with a clear state of mind. Being able to move forward with my head in the right place-- primarily on the front of meeting everyone, (centered heavily on just what kind of impression I might make), was something that I wanted to try to approach with a high level of mental clarity. And I really just hoped that I would be able to be lucky enough that there wouldn’t be any kind of major negative event throughout the holiday season. However, this train of thought didn’t stop the anxiety that sat with me at the idea of meeting her family. I had met her Aunts and family that lived out in Portland— many of them at the very least, but on top of that honor, there is a specific sort of honor found in meeting a beloved’s immediate family that I don’t believe can be put to words. We were both fine on the trip to Utah, perhaps ending up a bit sore, a bit stiff-legged— but I remember being so tense to meet her grandparents. The first day I barely made eye contact. I know I made very good friends with the floor, going by the amount of eye contact I made with it— but, while I waited for that other shoe to drop, it never did. We had an hour's drive on the second day to her family’s home, and I managed to hide the anxiety with podcasts we both listened to on the way up. And there was chaos but… not a bad sort of chaos… but the family kind of chaos… a very happy kind of chaos. Among that included: - Wrapping gifts (Of which I got to participate) - Baking cooking (those got a bit burned— about 4 hours burned, haha) - Decorating cooking (the anxiety didn’t let me with that one) - Talking about video games and TTRPGs (I kind of feel I lead that at certain points) - Playing holiday games with the other adults and already feeling like one of the family. I was also given one of the hand-decorated ornaments that Mama Sonya (a nickname I had asked if it was alright to call Beth's mom somewhere within the events of the trip) makes for the family each year. Even though I wear the boots I got almost every day, I believe that ornament may still be my favorite gift, if only because it will help me never forget that first Christmas season spent in the company of a family I intend to spend countless more with.

Cagney matched with me on Mutual (an app) in May 2022. I finally saw his profile in August, and my first thought upon seeing his profile was "This guy looks friend shaped". We began talking a few weeks later, and I was honestly surprised by how easily we talked. I'm not the most social type, and talking often doesn't come easy to me, but after the first few slightly stiff messages (the awkward exchanges that begin any acquaintances), we quickly fell into comfortable conversation. We met in person the following November, and our level of comfort with each other only grew. We spent a lot of time together over the next few months. We would talk, watch things, sometimes just do our own things existing in the same space together. We would talk a lot about what we wanted for our futures, and we gradually started to talk about how those futures might align. We talked a little about marriage, and I knew that Cagney definitely wanted to move in that direction. I, however, was not quite so sure, and I asked him not to bring it up until I did. There are many variables when deciding which person to spend your life with, some of which may never be accounted for, and I was feeling this deep need to measure the pros and cons of everything. In addition to pros and cons, I was trying to sort out how exactly I was feeling, what I was feeling, and whether this would be a good path for both of us. With this a lot of my time went toward praying, thought, and then praying some more. In April of 2023, I had the unforgettable opportunity to go on a health retreat, and while there I had a wonderful experience that helped me to recognize my own feelings and the influence of the spirit. I decided that upon my return home to Oregon I would propose to Cagney (Guess you could say I beat him to the punch!). On May 6th, 2023 we went on a date to the Portland Japanese Gardens. I was nervous the whole time, somewhat struggling to fully appreciate the garden, and wanting very much to get this right. After walking around the gardens for a while, I made the suggestion that we rest for a moment somewhere without other people, and we found a bench to sit on. I sat, wishing I had written a script or something, feeling a bit like my face might catch fire. I managed to say something about having been thinking of the future, before hurriedly kneeling and pulling out the ring and asking him to marry me. He said yes, obviously, and we both left the gardens with the biggest smiles on our faces! We have our whole lives ahead of us. A mountain of potential, and as intimidating as it may be, I have someone wonderful to be by my side every step of the way!