FAQs

Question

What is a Bar Mitzvah?

Answer

A Bar Mitzvah is a Jewish coming-of-age milestone for boys, marking their transition from childhood to adulthood at age 13. (Girls become Bat Mitzvah at age 12). "Bar/Bat Mitzvah" translates to "son/daughter of the commandment," meaning the young man/woman is now accountable for good deeds and ethical decisions within the community. It is not a "graduation" from the years of religious education, but rather the beginning of a new, mature stage of ethical life.

Question

What's the significance of the Ceremony?

Answer

During the synagogue ceremony, the Bar Mitzvah boy is called on the bimah (stage) - alongside the Rabbi - to read prayers, lead service, read from the Torah (Pentateuch scroll), and deliver a drasha (speech) about his studies. The ceremony takes place during the Saturday of Shabbat (day of rest). The May 23 date also coincides with the Shavuot holiday - celebrating the beginning of wheat harvest and the anniversary of receiving the 10 Commandments.

Question

Do you have a video explaining what a Bar Mitzvah is?

Answer

Here is a 3-minute YouTube casual video revealing the main aspects of a Bar Mitzvah - brought by "Jew know it": What is a Bar or Bat Mitzvah? | Jew Know It – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS3Zr-9OpOw&t=16s This is another short video, just in a bit more of a "power point bullets" style: What Should non-Jewish Guests Know About Bar Mitzvah Prayers? - Jewish Teens Daily – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN45xr-BB3g

Question

What's the synagogue ceremony like?

Answer

The Ceremony will be at Temple De Hirsch Sinai, a reformist congregation in Seattle. For comparison, other congregations have orthodox, conservative, or reformist traditions. The service starts at 10:30 am and goes for approximately 90 minutes. The rundown includes: . Morning blessings and opening prayers . Prayers of admiration for daily miracles, spiritual immersion, ethics, hope . Prayers of praise, love, faith, gratitude, holiness, peace . Silent prayer and moment of self-reflection . Ceremonial opening of the ark and procession with Torah scroll . Blessings of the Torah: Family members are called to the bimah to bless each aliyah (paragraph) . Torah reading: The weekly portion (parashat) of May 23 will be Nasso, from the Book of Numbers . Haftarah reading. This will be from the Book of Prophets . Your chance to throw candy on the Bar Mitzvah boy! . Speech. The Bar Mitzvah boy delivers a drasha (sermon) about his studies . Family's speeches and accolades to the beloved Bar Mitzvah boy . Closing remarks, mourner's prayers, and a call for Shalom (peace) for all

Question

How to follow the prayers along, if I don't know Hebrew?

Answer

The service will include prayers and blessings in Hebrew and English, as well as short individual silent moments for your own reflection. The siddur (prayer book) reads in Hebrew, along with English translations and phonetic transliteration.

Question

How does the congregation interact with the service?

Answer

It's simple. The Rabbi and Bar Mitzvah boy leading the service will regularly remind the congregation of the book pages where we are, meaning of prayers, call and response moments, as well as when to sit or stand. You are welcome to join saying "Amen" at the end of recited blessings. It's also common to greet and encourage those who conclude their reading of each Torah portion (aliyah) with the salutations: "Hazak U'Baruch" ("Strong and Blessed") and "Yasher Koach" ("May your strength be firm").

Question

May people of other religions or beliefs attend the ceremony?

Answer

Yes please. The service does include mentions and praise to G'd. The main messages are of peace, gratitude, and living an ethical life - messages that should resonate across all walks of life.

Question

May I use my phone or take pictures during services?

Answer

We kindly request to refrain from using phones and electronic devices during the morning services in the synagogue. Please turn off devices upon arrival. In the evening party, everyone can use their phones and take pictures in the main social lounge. Those visiting the garage floor will be asked not to use their cell phones for pictures - according to the venue rules. We will have a hired photographer at the ceremony and party. The plan is to post group pictures a few weeks after the event. The photographer might publish some pictures to their website and social media for promotional purposes.

Question

Will there be streaming, for those not attending in person?

Answer

Yes! Join the ceremony's live streaming visiting this web page: https://templedehirschsinai.org/streaming/

Question

Will there be lunch after the ceremony?

Answer

There is a short Kiddush after the ceremony. It's not a substantial lunch, and rather a blessing over wine and grape juice, as well as breaking bread (challah).

Question

What will the party be like?

Answer

The party will be at One Driver's Club. It's a 50,000-square-foot, members-only automotive social club. It's a state-of-the-art vault where car collectors and afficionados store their super cars. The celebration will start at 6:30 pm and go until 10:30 pm. It will feature: . Light dinner with stationed heavy appetizers and dessert . Open bar with signature mocktails, assorted drinks, as well as beer, wine, and selected cocktails . Live entertainment, with DJ and MC . Golf simulator . Small-group, short-tours of the garage floor . Dancing . Chair dance and Horah (yes, let’s lift Ben in the air!)

Question

What if I have food restrictions?

Answer

The evening party will include light dinner, with stationed heavy appetizers and dessert. The menu will include options of vegetarian, dairy-free, and gluten-free dishes.

Question

Will there be parking at the venues?

Answer

For the morning ceremony, the temple has a reserved parking lot across the street - its specific address is 1428 16th Ave, Seattle, WA 98122 (while the temple is at 1441 16th Ave, Seattle, WA 98122) For the evening party, the venue does have a drop-off area at their parking lot, where you may drop/pick your child.

Question

My teen/child, who's friends with Ben, got invited. Are parents also invited?

Answer

For the morning ceremony, parents and siblings are all welcome to join alongside their teens. For the evening party, given the venue capacity, the invitations are to Ben's teen friends. To you parents, we request you simply drop off your teen, optionally join us inside for a drink and a peak at the place, and then come back later to pick up your child at the end. I hope it will be ok with you. Thank you for understanding.

Question

How should I RSVP?

Answer

Please visit and bookmark the RSVP page: https://www.zola.com/wedding/ben13/rsvp . . Teens/Ben’s friends: email invitations were sent to one of the parents, in the name of the teen guest. On the RSVP page, enter the teen’s first and last name to access the details. Then RSVP to each event – the morning ceremony and the evening party. . Ben’s Family (Tracy’s and Alberto’s): email invitations were sent to one email address in your household, listing that name and name of spouse and children. At the RSVP landing page, in order to access the details, you will enter one full name of any of the guests in your party (rather than saying ‘Dittman Family’ or ‘Mr. Murnen or ‘Ms. Sutton’). Then RSVP, for each person, to each event - the morning ceremony and the evening party.

Question

What should guests wear to the ceremony and party?

Answer

For the morning ceremony, at the temple, the attire can be business casual or semi-formal; similar to what one would wear for a daytime wedding. Please consider the event will be at a religious temple, inviting applicable modesty. For the evening party, the attire is modern cocktail.

Question

Will there be yamakas?

Answer

Yes! Upon arrival there will be complimentary kippah (yamaka). Those are symbolic head covers to remind us of reverence and humility before a divine power above us. It’s customary that all men, Jewish and non-Jewish, will wear those during service. Women might elect to also wear it.

Question

Is it customary to give gifts?

Answer

“Presence over presents”. We are just so excited to share this milestone with Ben’s friends and our family. Our guests’ presence is the only gift needed. For those who would insist on marking the occasion with gifts, there are some customary options: . make a charitable donation on behalf of the Bar Mitzvah boy . write a favorite memory note in a special-occasion card . gifts that mark the coming-of-age at 13 and/or meet the boy’s interests . monetary or cash gifts are usually given in multiples of $18, the number that represents “Life” (Chai) Please just avoid bringing gifts to the service at the synagogue – favor delivering envelopes and/or gifts during the evening party or to the family’s house.

Question

Wasn’t Ben’s birthday in December?

Answer

You remembered! According to tradition, the celebration may take place any time after the actual birthday. It’s taking place in May for a few reasons: temple availability and it’s reopening after remodeling; as well as travel planning for family abroad.

Question

What if I have other questions?

Answer

Please email any other questions to this alias: ben13celebration@outlook.com