Best Man
Height: 5ft 11 & 15/16th Weight: 199 pounds Known to disappear and walk around parking lots for 6 hours in 110 degree heat. Most likely to see him doing the Russian squat dance, or sleeping in the bride and groom’s hotel room.
Maid of Honor
Most likely to have a hair disaster before the wedding. Will likely find her sneaking tequila shots or making rules about the schedule.
Groomsman
Height: 6ft (barely) Weight: 110 pounds Washed up little league baseball athlete. Will likely find him looking at his hair in the mirror, and as far away from the food table as possible.
Maid of Honor
Most likely to be loud. Will find her releasing the chickens or putting unicorn stickers all over the venue.
Groomsman
Height: 5ft 1 inch (two different measurements) Weight: 290 pounds Known for sleeping on floors and disappearing in foreign countries. Will likely find him bartering for a broken forklift or trying to ride one of the farm animals.
Bridesmaid
Known for dying 15 minutes into a hike. Will likely find her laughing at literally anything or disappearing with the bride for a side mission.
Groomsman
Height: 1828.8 millimeters Weight: 130 pounds Known to hit sub 100 yard drives. Will likely find him in the bathroom with Matt Mundorf fixing his hair, and making weird jokes that very few will understand.
Bridesmaid
Known for spending her entire bachelorette party working out. Will likely find her talking about her dogs or explaining, in brutal stories, how she knows the bride.
Groomsman
Height: 6ft 9 Weight: 160 pounds Known for his unnaturally big lips and being a collegiate sweaty-men grabber. Will likely find him starting projects he doesn’t finish, and grooming his facial catfish hairs.
Bridesmaid
Known for falling down stairs at AirBnBs. Will likely find her speaking to people in an accent- even though she was born in Ventura, California.
Officiant
Height: 6ft 3 Weight: 300 pounds Definitely does not take steroids. Most likely to use ChatGPT for the ceremony script and to order Dominoes to the reception because he “doesn’t like the food”.
Ring Bearer
Height: 99th percentile Weight: Like 15 pounds Known for taking too long to walk. Will likely find him pulling the dogs hair or eating guacamole.