There’s nothing hotter than a man in his mid-twenties who a) doesn’t have a stable income and b) is living at his parents’ Long Island home. But, in 2017, Austin Rieders would decline a Bumble invitation from that exact type of man. A man…named Luke Massaro. Oh God! Oh no! Was this to be an ill-fated misconnection? A l’amour that never l’amour-ed? Fear not, reader. That next year, at Pride, two lesbians forced Luke Massaro into downloading Hinge. And, thanks to this sapphic intervention, our persons of interest once again stood before their phones, examining each other’s profiles, questioning, “Should I meet this guy who is basically the same height as me?” The answer, as it turns out…was yes! At Amy’s Bread on 9th Avenue, Austin leveraged his magnetic charm to wax poetic about his entire medical history to the aspiring Dr. Luke. And why not? Does a robust list of corporeal allergies, anomalies, and aberrations not delight? Do the knees of an aspiring doctor not buckle instantaneously under the pressure of l’amour? Well, of course they do. * Date one turned into date two which turned into two Janelle Monáe tickets which turned into an enviable string of meet-ups. But, as time passed, one had to wonder, what were they to each other? A fling? Lovers? A situationship? Oh, god! I’m desperate to find out. A few months in, Luke and Austin attended a party where Luke would field a call from his friend, Leah. And, having fielded this call he would put Leah on speakerphone to the party’s twenty patrons. And, in her infinite contempt for social decorum, Leah would publicly pose the question on everyone’s mind, “So are you guys boyfriends or what?” The question hung in the air. Twenty party goers inhaled sharply. In fervent anticipation, of course. Luke Massaro and Austin Rieders, les romantiques, turned to each other and shrugged. “Uh…yeah, I guess?” Oh to be in love!!!! The rhapsody of l’amour. The poetry of passion. What is not to love about love? * Come Summer 2019, our now boyfriends shacked up in Hell’s Kitchen. A sanctuary in which to weather pandemic woes. Our theatre nerd suffered greatly, kvetching deep into the night about theatrical closures, which Luke agreed was very, very bad. “That’s very, very bad,” he would affirm, donning scrubs and sojourning to the hospital to combat death and disease each and every day. And, despite his suffering, Austin clung to the fact that Luke no longer lived at his parent’s place on Long Island. And, also clung to the other more important fact, which is that his “long-term investment” might one day pay off, that he could be a doctor’s wife. There, in Hell’s Kitchen, our boys uncovered joy in companionship. They managed—with love in their hearts, strengthened by the fact that, even when the world was burning, when death hung its flag on every corner, they had each other. * In May 2023, having flagrantly lied to his partner about going to Paris JUST to see the Beyoncé concert, Austin shepherded his beau to Monet’s Gardens in Giverny. They promenaded the grounds, ensconced in the ethereal power of impressionist water lilies, the beauty of l’amour. Overtaken by the ambience (and his fastidiously organized plan), Mr. Rieders kneeled. And popped that question. “Will you marry me?” “...Ha ha. Wait, are you serious?” Oh, Luke, Austin Rieders was serious! Not joking in the least. In fact, so far from joking was he, that you, dear reader, are now enjoying this tale of l’amour. Of two men. Two men who we will give away to each other this November. In light. In joy. In love—sorry, I mean… in l’amour!