Alyssa & Vladimir
Wedding Party
Kelsey Lammy
Maid of Honor
Klams AKA Corn Kween (hence, the pic) and Alyssa met in 2016 where their first conversation consisted of Alyssa explaining the time she punched a girl in the back (she deserved it, I promise). Kelsey was scared but stuck around to become Alyssa's domestic partner-- they lived 5 beautiful years (2 years of COVID so more like 18 years) together before deciding to part ways and move in with men (as life sadly goes sometimes). They are still life partners but society demanded they chose male counterparts and so here we are today!!!!! And we like Vlad and Rafa so it's FINE.
Morgan Einspanier
Bridesmaid
Morgie and Alyssa met in college (MIZ) where soon after they became joined at the hip. Both Alpha Phi gals, they drank way too much alcohol (this is where we discovered Morgie had no gag reflex which didn't do us any favors when she was asleep at the bar) and TBH ran that town (LOL I'm kidding, we thought we did though). They continued their love story in STL (go Cards) before Morgan RUDELY moved to Chicago and Alyssa cried in the bathroom at Wheelhouse knowing they would have to continue a long distance relationship. Don't worry folks, this has a happy ending-- they stayed friends!!! 10 years later they persist with a lot less alcohol consumption but MORE love (thank god).
Marteen Barni
Bridesmaid
M-teen and Lissypoo began their friendship at Mizzou where they started a "clique" called BOOTERS and everyone got REALLY upset about it (shout out Alpha Phi for the J-board!!). If you have never met Marteen Barni, just wait because this gal never hesitates to have a good time. Alyssa's favorite memories with Teen include blowing raspberries on Tax Dan's belly, drunkenly yapping to Mark Cuban and friends for 10 years before not being allowed into Hakkasan because Alyssa was "too drunk" (STILL MAD ABOUT THIS) and always whipping her hair at the clerb (Alyssa does not participate because her neck is delicate). She is now a NP with her doctorate so treat her with some respect because this lady is a boss!!! 10 years of crazy fun times with a life time more (hopefully we are still friends after she reads this bio)
Katie Aamoth
Bridesmaid
Katie A (must clarify because we know so many Katies) and Alyssa met in good ole ATX-- their first encounter was questionable as Katie spoke maybe 3 words but since then has never stopped talking. They lived together for 2 years at the infamous 444 before Katie abandoned her two BFFs for a man (shoutout Tone) and declared herself funniest member of 444 prior to leaving (this is up for debate). She still maintains that between the three 444 members (Kelsey, Katie, Alyssa), she would be victorious if all three had to fight-- so just know that she is both strong AND funny. Katie's hobbies include making random noises, talking loudly and booty dancing. It wouldn't be a wedding party without her!!!
Sheridan Hauk
Bridesmaid
Sherbear is actually the lady that brought Alyssa and Vlad together (unintentionally, but it still happened and she did mention Vlad was a great option of her boyfriends' friends). When Alyssa and Sheridan met, Sheridan revealed mushrooms were also her favorite topping/add in and Alyssa decided right then and there she would force Sheridan to be her friend. They have been gluten free pals ever since and it helps that her boyfriend is Vlad's best friend (so allies in every situation, thank god)
Matthew Rosales
Bridesman
Matt (aka M-Dog aka #90) and Alyssa met when he was born 10.5 months after her in December 1992. They have had their ups and downs as siblings-- the downs consisting of Matt being cooler than Alyssa in high school, Alyssa walking around hotels barefoot and then Matt making her wash her feet before getting into bed, and Matt being very upset at Alyssa anytime she farted at the dinner table (Alyssa argued this was a natural body function and nothing to be ashamed of). Through all the turmoil and weird hygiene issues, the two became bffs as they became older and have been bffs ever since. Alyssa couldn't imagine getting married without her brother by her side, HENCE bridesman (and proud of it)
Kasey Lipnevici
Bridesmaid
For those that do not know, Kasey is Vladimir's twin SO Alyssa and Kasey met through Vlad (obviously) but became fast friends bonding over all the things they could make fun of Vlad for together. Vlad was the first one out the womb; soon after, Kasey made a little flip-a-roo which resulted in a c-section (this was the only time recorded in history that Kasey caused more trouble than Vlad). She has always been a great advocate to both Alyssa and Vlad and Alyssa is excited to add another sister to the mix (in addition to her three existing sisters-- shout out Hannah, Faith and Erica!!! Girl power, amirite)
Ben Lowry
Best Man
Vlad and Lowry have been BFFs for a long time-- honestly think Lowry is upset he's not the one marrying Vlad but that's just the way life goes. He's obsessed with Vlad's hands and loves to stir the pot (and we love him for it, mostly). He's been talking about his best man speech since the moment Alyssa and Vlad met *no pressure* so everyone clap loud for this guy when he gets on the mic (or don't, that's fine too)
Ben Akers
Groomsman
Akers AKA Hot Boi AKA Bones is another lifelong friend of Vlad's (and also partially responsible for Alyssa and Vlad meeting). This guy is the life of the party, especially when he's not buying the booze. He loves pool games (hence the goggles) and shmoozing with government officials and couldn't imagine having our big day without him!
Jake Lavallo
Groomsman
Jakey and Vlad's friendship started through his little brother Will (also a groomsman) because I guess Jake couldn't find any friends his own age. Since then, their love for tech and lack of emotion has fueled their friendship to what it is today. Jake also enjoys goggles and long walks on the beach
Lucas Hernandez
Groomsman
Goggle boi #3, Lucas has probably had the greatest character arc of all the Austin High boys. He is now the sweetest angel and a great friend to all the boys and we love him!! He has a baby on the way so I expect he will be on his worst behavior
Will Lavallo
Groomsman
Will aka whoopdog actually requested that his picture be this one (be thankful you can't really see the background) as he had no pics in goggles (not a pool game guy). Another one of the Austin High boys and still in school as we speak to become a lawyer (this has been a long road so pls shake this guy's hand). There are so many other references I could put here but will keep it appropriate. Yay Will!!
Jay Barnes
Groomsman
Jay and Vlad have been longtime friends due to the fact that they have way too much in common. Things they love to do includes killing hogs and playing Warzone (lots of violence, boys!!!!). Although him and Vlad swear murdering hogs is for the environment, we have our doubts. Alas, he’s a great dude and couldn’t get married without him
Zach Coates
Groomsman
Zach and Vlad's friendship bloomed while Zach taught Vlad all his skillz on the wakeboard (and this statement is making Zach's head bigger as we speak). Zach's boat is actually where Alyssa and Vlad first met, so that's cute!! Zach also loves to shoot hogs and sleep outside (ahem, camping) which is great for Alyssa because bugs are scary. He is a great helper and a nice guy. We like him.