3:00 pm - 3:30 pm
We leave together. Transportation help available if needed.
4:00 pm - 4:30 pm
First come — first served. Except the bride and groom. Corruption exists.
5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
Including: — hot tub inspection — throne toilet appreciation — searching for hidden cartel money
6:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Decorations, chairs, lights and pretending we know what we’re doing (NO LOL)
8:00 pm
1:00 pm - 1:30 pm
Please be: — alive — present — relatively sober — not sleeping in the bushes
1:30 pm - 6:00 pm
Sat, Sep 5, 2026, 6:00 pm - Sun, Sep 6, 2026, 6:00 am
9:00 am - 11:00 am
Wake up. Regret nothing. Clean the house.