Stories
How We Met
The San Francisco Athletic Club
The date: Monday, January 13, 2020. The setting: The San Francisco Athletic Club (SFAC): a sports bar, not a gym The story: On Monday nights in winter, typical dry spells for sports, SFAC used to host Bachelor nights with $5 glasses of rosé. A genius business model. On this particular Monday, however, there was a major sporting event. The college football national championship game between LSU and Clemson. A.J., a regular at SFAC, was posted up at the bar for the game, blissfully unaware of Bachelor night. Ali's roommate had invited her to the bar to watch the Bachelor, the roommate blissfully unaware of the football game. Upon walking into the bar, it was like someone had drawn a line right down the middle. The TVs at the front half of the bar were all football, while the TVs at the back half of the bar were all Bachelor. The gender split was just as stark. Men at the front of the bar, women at the back of the bar. It had the makings of the awkward first moments of a middle school dance. Although much more interested in the football game than the Bachelor, Ali weaved her way to the back of the bar to meet up with her roommate and friends. A bartender came to take their order but Ali said “no we’re good” and instead convinced her roommate to go up to the front half of the bar to order a drink. The social dynamics were too interesting. They needed to be explored. They had to cross the line to the boys side of the bar, and that is when everything changed.
Patios and Parklets
Navigating the post-pandemic world as a couple
The world began opening up. Although mostly outdoor dining, Ali and A.J. were able to experience The City for the first time since the brief period when they first met. Before one of the early outings, Ali turned to A.J. and asked, "What if I don't like you in the real world?" Even though it had been over 2 years at that point, they only knew each other in a domestic setting. Perplexed, A.J. said "What do you mean?" and Ali responded "Like, what if you're obnoxious?" To which A.J. responded "oh, I can assure you I will be obnoxious". If nothing else, Ali had to respect the honesty. A common adventure was the outdoor beer garden at the same San Francisco Athletic Club that they met at. A.J. and Ali participated in trivia, watching sports, and enjoying each other's company somewhere other than their respective living rooms.
Margaritas on a Monday
Football Guy meets Football Gal
Ali and her roommate walked up to the bar. A.J. scooted on his barstool and made space. Ali and her roommate ordered two margaritas and, waiting for the drinks to be made, got to talking. A.J. asked if they were here to watch the Bachelor. The previous group of girls at the bar had been very uninterested in the game and had recently beelined to the back of the bar when the bartender told them the Bachelor was playing in the back. While physically there for the Bachelor, Ali was much more interested in the football game. The broadcast started talking about Joe Burrow, quarterback for LSU at the time, and his Heisman win. Ali had plenty to say about the Heisman, bitter about all the Stanford players who have gotten runner up over the years. A.J.'s head swiveled to Ali, like "did she just say that?" Shortly after, A.J. hit Ali with Stanford football's slogan "intellectual brutality". Ali was similarly intrigued. The conversation flowed easily and at one point A.J. told his friend Jeremy "this girl knows more about football than you do". A compliment Ali cherishes to this day.
The Real World
when things started to get real... mad real
It was official: A.J. and Ali's relationship had survived a global pandemic. In fact, it had even blossomed. Excited to live real life together, they were also equally excited to share it with friends. Both A.J. and Ali are blessed to have many many friends, and even better, their respective friends have become friends! As a result, they have built an incredible community in the Bay Area and beyond. They have been able to go on trips and attend weddings of friends, ever growing that community.
After the game
A flirtatious game of shuffleboard
Ali passed the rest of the football game at the bar with A.J., not returning to watch the Bachelor. When the game and the Bachelor episode ended, the bar emptied out. Ali and her roommate challenged A.J. and Jeremy to a game of shuffleboard. Ali and A.J. shared one side of the table, standing opposite their teammates. The game was playful and to this day neither Ali nor A.J. can remember which team won. In the end, it was the two of them who won, having met each other!
Chamorro Charm
Getting to know A.J.'s family
Ali has been fortunate to get to know A.J.'s family. Living in the Bay Area, they frequently get to see the family and spend time with them. They enjoyed vacation in Hawaii, have attended numerous 49ers games, and got to see the family grow with the addition of Theo (and more to come!) The Chamorros have become Ali's "local family". Her home away from home. Ali appreciates how they always welcome her to family functions, ranging from birthdays and holidays to Sunday afternoon naps on their couch or in their pool. Always generous, she is grateful for the frequent meals, tupperwares packed with food to go, and gifts from Gloria's closet. The Chamorros are happy to welcome Ali. The first time they met, Gloria said "she's loud and likes to talk, she'll fit right in". Although they think she's slightly crazy for her triathlon shenanigans (like biking 40 miles to their house from the city), they love her positive attitude, hearty appetite, and her willingness to always step up and help with anything they may need.
The end of the night
Exchanging numbers
By the end of the night the connection was undeniable. Nearing 11 pm (on a school night!) Ali said "let's not beat around bush and make this awkward. Give me your phone and I'll give you my number." To this day, A.J. is shocked Ali put in her first name and last name! She must have had a good feeling, despite A.J.'s favorite bartender describing him as a "3-star man".
Heartwarming Hoffers
Getting to know Ali's family
A.J.'s first times meeting the Hoffers was on trips down to San Diego. Eager to impress, he dressed well for the flights and cleaned up in the airport to look as presentable as possible. Over time, he has come to appreciate the Hoffers' laid back nature. Although trips to San Diego are great, A.J. particularly enjoys visiting Mike and Debbie in Miami (talk about home away from home). Together, they enjoyed an incredible trip to Ireland, shared the growth of the family with Kyle and Linda's wedding, and have enjoyed multiple University of Miami football tailgates. A.J. has appreciated that from day one, he has been invited to accompany the Hoffers on every adventure, and they have always made him feel like part of the family. The Hoffers are excited to have A.J. a part of the family, despite often cheering on the "wrong team." His enthusiasm for sports adds to the ongoing family texts and rhetoric. A.J. is always engaged and concerned about what is going in his family and ours. He will be a wonderful caring addition to the family and one who is also up for fun and adventure.
Our First Date
Who says you can't eat ribs on a first date?
Certainly not Ali. Almost A.J., who in an attempt at civility, suggested ordering the catfish at soul food restaurant Brenda's Meat and Three, because it was the "least saucy option". To which Ali responded "if you want to order the ribs but are too nervous because it's a first date, you should definitely just order the ribs." That comment was met with a smile and a quick "yes" by A.J. Ali proved that she was not opposed to eating ribs, despite it being A.J.'s order. She let him know that sharing food is not only encouraged, but a requirement for a partner. They enjoyed the ribs, and whatever Ali ordered (neither of them can remember). To this day, they brag about their elite ordering skills, and cherish that they both get to try two items from every menu! The meal passed quickly as A.J. and Ali got to know each other more, and at the end of the night, A.J. kindly offered to pay. Upon returning with the credit card and paid bill, the waitress set it right in front of Ali for signature. Ali teased A.J. saying "the waitress read this date and thinks I'm paying" to which A.J. responded "Nope, she just thinks it's your card because of the name on it." And that's how Ali learned the "A" in A.J. stood for Alexis. Following dinner Ali and A.J. met up with 2 friends (perhaps also on a first date, for anonymity their names shall be redacted) at a board game parlor.
The Engagement
Everyone has a plan, until.....
The date was Saturday, June 21. The plan was for Ali and A.J. to head down to Redwood City for a nice Chamorro family lunch. The stage was set. Lunch was slated for 1 pm, and Ali's friend Kayley asked if she wanted to get bagels in the morning before they left for brunch. Ali, normally always down for a delicious carb, begrudgingly said yes. She had just spent a week in Kauai with Kayley and would have preferred to sleep in and go for a run before getting ready for lunch. But Kayley guilt tripped her with the "I'm leaving for business school soon." A.J. proposed bagels at 9 am, which would have put them on pace to leave the city by 10 am which should have been Ali's first hint because it does not take 3 hours to get from SF to Redwood City. Instead, Ali just complained and pushed back bagels until 10 am, which sent A.J.'s nerves through the roof. But he had to play it cool. He couldn't push the time too much or else Ali would become suspicious. So, the morning rolls around and A.J., Ali, and Kayley are in line for bagels when Kayley gets a work call and immediately needs to leave to go into the office (a quite plausible excuse since Kayley worked in investment banking). Ali and A.J. proceed to get their bagels and A.J. suggested going to eat the bagels on the beach nearby now that it's just the two of them...
Are we the same person?
The moment A.J. and Ali realize they think very similarly
A game of Taboo began, which is arguably a great first date activity because you learn very quickly if you and the other person think the same way or not. Turns out, Ali and A.J. think extremely similarly. Surprise, surprise. At one point, Ali pulled the card Bruce Willis. She couldn't say key words like Actor, Action, Die Hard, or Hollywood. How was she going to get A.J. to guess this? She took a chance and said, "this is extremely random, but do you know the song Lazy Sunday by Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell from SNL?" To Ali's surprise, and to A.J.’s intrigue, he said "yes". From there, it was simple. "What Friends alum starred in films with [BLANK]?" A.J., eager to prove he knew the song, skipped one lyric and emphatically answered “Matthew Perry!”. But when Ali said "no, the other one" he correctly guessed Bruce Willis. Their two friends sat in awe, shocked at what had just transpired. Ali couldn't believe it either, and begrudgingly had to call her brother, Kyle, the next day and thank him for making her learn the Lazy Sunday duet so they could rap it together growing up. It really proved to come in handy (although doubtful that Kyle’s intent was for her to use it to pick up guys).
The Proposal
The moment of truth...
They drive down to the beach and the wind is whipping. Ali suggests parking facing the beach and opening the sunroof to enjoy the "ambiance of the beach" without having to get out of the car because it's way too windy and she doesn't want her hair to be ruined for the family lunch. Ali, trying to thwart the proposal again, but A.J. had to play it cool. So they ate the bagels in the car facing the beach until, out of other options, A.J. said "I really think we should go for a walk on the beach." And that's when Ali realized it was happening and even though her heart was racing, it was her turn to play it cool. She agreed to the walk on the beach and off they went, reminiscing about their second date which also took place hand in hand on Ocean Beach. At one point Ali suggested walking closer to the water, but A.J. said "no, let's walk this way" and tugged her higher up the beach. Shortly after, A.J. was down on one knee, neither remembering exactly what was said aside from a vehement yes. A cheer followed and Ali thought to herself, "who is cheering?" considering the beach was mostly empty barring some volleyball players. They must have seen and been excited. After a few moments of bliss, A.J. turned Ali and they started walking up the beach back toward the sea wall and boardwalk. And that is when Ali saw her family, A.J.'s family, and Kayley (who claims she set a PR running from the bagel shop to the beach) waiting to celebrate. The cheer suddenly made much more sense.
The Covid Era
Hello or Goodbye?
On March 19, 2020 a mandatory stay-at-home order was issued in California. This came 2 months into Ali and A.J. dating. They turned to each other and acknowledged they either were going to be part of the same "pod", or would never see each other again. Things were going well and it felt premature to walk away forever. With both of their respective roommates on board, they decided that they would place trust in one another and essentially give domestic life a try. During Covid, Ali, A.J., and their respective roommates cooked countless family dinners (Ali learned how to make sourdough, and A.J. perfected his curry), played endless hours of the board game Avalon, went on many "urban hikes" in SF, and hosted an unforgettable night of Apartment Olympics. Ali had proven no stranger to sports. While Football and Baseball were well within her repertoire, however, Basketball proved to be a knowledge gap. One of A.J.'s passions, he was eager to get her interested in the game. It was to his benefit that when the NBA came back in the bubble, it was one of the few forms of entertainment in the world. They watched every game, and Ali found herself enjoying it! The following year as restrictions loosened, they were able to attend a socially distanced game at Chase Center. Ali was intoxicated by the energy, despite her frustration that the Utah Jazz defeated the Warriors behind Joe Ingles and Bojan Bogdanovic - or as she affectionately dubbed them, "two balding white guys".
The Start of Engaged Life
Did this just become an engagement party?
From the boardwalk they walked down the road to the Beach Chalet where A.J. had made a lunch reservation. Suddenly the time pressure and all the ways Ali almost thwarted the day dawned on her. She was teasing A.J. about this when they walked into the Beach Chalet for yet another surprise - all their closest friends ready to envelop them in a huge hug and celebrate the day! Lunch turned into an afternoon at the San Francisco Athletic Club to celebrate the place they met, which turned into an evening of Karaoke with everyone belting their favorite songs and Kyle proving a savant on the tambourine. So despite Ali's best attempts to thwart the plan, A.J. executed the perfect proposal followed by an unforgettable day.